Not waving but drowning

I've got to be honest, I've always hated the poem that inspired the title of this post, ever since I first read it as a child and it made me sad. But that aside, it does kinda sum up how I've been feeling over the past few weeks.

The past semester has been basically non-stop which is wonderful in many senses but not great in many others. I've had a bustling social life and a lot of work. The work is interesting and it's why I'm here so I'm not complaining in the slightest. Well, the social life is something to be grateful for so I'm not moaning about that either. However, the two combined has meant that I've not stopped in months and, more to the point, I've neglected some dear, dear friends as time has flown by out of control. Actually, I've neglected a lot of people and for that I am honestly sorry!

The past few weeks have been particularly hectic, what with being in multiple countries and having more deadlines than I care to count. I was at a point where I was unsure of whether I was going to manage; it all seemed way too much! To add to it, apparently my body likes dealing with stress by giving me quite horrific nightmares which means I'm up all night and therefore can't work the day after... counter productive, body, counter productive!

Anyway, today I finally feel on top of things. Sure, I have a lot left to do but I've got it to a level where it's manageable once more so I thought I'd take five minutes out just to write this. I often write about the good things that happen in my life, and I'm incredibly lucky that I have a lot to write about in that regard. I don't want to ignore the harder times just because they're not so pleasant - they're a part of the life that I'm living and the life that I love.

I also don't want to pretend that they don't happen. It's funny, whenever I've written a post like this I've had someone come up to me and talk about it because they were happy to read that someone else was feeling the same way as they do. It's easy to construct a comfortable internet persona where it seems everything is perfect but sometimes it's good to remind ourselves that, for the most part, we all have similar basic struggles every now and then.

Anyway, what was intended to be a very short updating post became quite long and heavy so I think I'll say it's not for facebook and leave it here! Just in case anyone is concerned after reading this - I'm 100% fine and always have been. A little bit of stress doesn't hurt from time to time :-)

In other news:

Just over a week before I go home - really excited. Nearly Christmas - super excited. And before all that Zoë's coming out to visit again, I'm going to the Midwinter Fair, and it's Winter Formal which is a good excuse to dress up, if nothing more!

Wow, so much still to do! Really looking forward to the next week!

Getting into the Christmas Spirit!

As if Düsseldorf wasn't enough to get me in the Christmas mood, I put the Christmas decorations up
on Monday ready for Tuesday when we were having our super early Secret Santa yesterday

This is going to be an incredibly short post (rather than just ignore the fact that it happened) because I am completely drowning in deadlines right now but it's not going to do justice to the wonderful evening.

So, instead of writing down what happened I'm going to do things a little differently.

Special thanks to Leonoor for being my now not so Secret Santa and getting me a teapot that is actually large enough to serve multiple cups of tea. Your beautiful wrapping really stole the show! Thank you for letting me paint your nails too, even if it took forever and wasn't as effective as we'd hoped!

Thanks to Thijs for accepting my teasing (and thoroughly disastrous) poem with good grace and humour.

Thank you to Sonja for providing what was possibly the most thoughtful, handmade gift of the year - lets be honest, this girl is through and through special. I think I speak for us all when I say that, even though most of us weren't your giftee, your gift brightened all our evenings!

Thanks to Laura for her thoroughly good company, for finding amusing videos on youtube, and for providing potatoes. No joking, those potatoes were wonderful.

Last but not least, thank you to Dania for providing henna so we could all draw on each other and for fetching drinks for me so I could stay home and get things ready as opposed to popping to the shop.

Oh, and I forgot one very important person who wasn't there but made a big difference:
Thank you to Robbert, the best neighbour I've ever had, for loaning us a lighter at short notice so we could light incense... and thank you for giving the same lighter to me when I told you it was the first lighter I was able to use. I am now the proud owner of a lighter with a picture of a scantily clad man and I will remember you every time I use it*.


*This was Robbert's condition upon giving me said lighter, if I remember correctly ;)

Not for facebook

Three Countries in Two Days

So, having got back from England on Thursday (very kindly met at the airport by Ryan because I would not have made the journey back home alone), I promptly set out on my next adventure. This time I was off to Düsseldorf with Dania and Leonoor to explore the Christmas market.

Leaving Amsterdam Centraal! No prizes for guessing
which one of us noticed the photo being taken!

It's got to be said, mainland Europe is so easy. We popped on an international train in the centre of Amsterdam and in about two hours we found ourselves in Düsseldorf.

Our first evening in the town was a lovely, if a little bit of a cold one. We walked through the various market although, as we later found out, we actually missed a few on this first day. I had to laugh a little though, what with the fact that the 'German' Christmas market back home is actually bigger... so much for authenticity ;-)

I was trying to photograph the stalls but the Dania was quite sure she wanted
to be in the photo. Who am I kidding? She makes it even prettier :)

What was delightful was the way that each mini market had its own theme and atmosphere. It's got to be said that, although we didn't find it on the first day, the Sternchenmarkt was my favourite. It was super busy and seemed to be food and drink focused mainly but it was completely lit by blue white lights making it absolutely magical.

When I booked the trip, my mother made me promise to go on a carousel as I have literally been on one every year at Christmas, well, until I moved out to the Netherlands, that is! Sadly, there were only children's carousels. However, there was a big wheel so we went trip on that and, frankly, I think it more than made up for it. Seeing a bird's eye view of the city by night, lit up for Christmas, was really rather magical. We also got way more than we bargained for and went round so many times that I, quite frankly lost count. We expected to go round twice, or maybe three times tops... by the fifth time we, and the couple who were sharing our car, were both amused and bemused!

On the Big Wheel...pretending we weren't terrified of the height!

We actually set off for home quite early on that day due to the cold and spent most of the night cuddled up in the hotel room watching Abraham Lincoln Vampirjäger despite the fact only 1.5/3 of us could understand what was going on! We did try to get the television in English, and apparently there should have been English channels but it didn't work out so Dania got a quick German lesson instead!

Enjoying the hotel bunk-beds. "Creation of Adam", anyone?

The second day we went into town a bit earlier to go into the shops themselves. It's actually a really nice city with some lovely places on the main drag and, like all cities, there are bound to be hidden gems that we simply didn't find sticking to the central streets. I would like to go back when it's a bit warmer, just to explore the city more thoroughly.

Ready for day two!

Naturally, we spent the evening wondering through the markets a bit more and discovering some really good food, mainly. It's funny, that, whenever Dania, Leonoor and I go somewhere together we end up exploring the food more than anything!

Not every day you come across a field of decorated Christmas trees.

On the Sunday it was time to return to Amsterdam and, for me, to face the start of the deathly stack of deadlines. Distressingly, the train was delayed leaving us waiting on a freezing cold platform for over an hour. On the bright side, Leonoor and Dania used that time to buy a six pack of very good doughnuts for on the train.

What did I tell you? We always end up eating!!

Not for facebook