Not waving but drowning

I've got to be honest, I've always hated the poem that inspired the title of this post, ever since I first read it as a child and it made me sad. But that aside, it does kinda sum up how I've been feeling over the past few weeks.

The past semester has been basically non-stop which is wonderful in many senses but not great in many others. I've had a bustling social life and a lot of work. The work is interesting and it's why I'm here so I'm not complaining in the slightest. Well, the social life is something to be grateful for so I'm not moaning about that either. However, the two combined has meant that I've not stopped in months and, more to the point, I've neglected some dear, dear friends as time has flown by out of control. Actually, I've neglected a lot of people and for that I am honestly sorry!

The past few weeks have been particularly hectic, what with being in multiple countries and having more deadlines than I care to count. I was at a point where I was unsure of whether I was going to manage; it all seemed way too much! To add to it, apparently my body likes dealing with stress by giving me quite horrific nightmares which means I'm up all night and therefore can't work the day after... counter productive, body, counter productive!

Anyway, today I finally feel on top of things. Sure, I have a lot left to do but I've got it to a level where it's manageable once more so I thought I'd take five minutes out just to write this. I often write about the good things that happen in my life, and I'm incredibly lucky that I have a lot to write about in that regard. I don't want to ignore the harder times just because they're not so pleasant - they're a part of the life that I'm living and the life that I love.

I also don't want to pretend that they don't happen. It's funny, whenever I've written a post like this I've had someone come up to me and talk about it because they were happy to read that someone else was feeling the same way as they do. It's easy to construct a comfortable internet persona where it seems everything is perfect but sometimes it's good to remind ourselves that, for the most part, we all have similar basic struggles every now and then.

Anyway, what was intended to be a very short updating post became quite long and heavy so I think I'll say it's not for facebook and leave it here! Just in case anyone is concerned after reading this - I'm 100% fine and always have been. A little bit of stress doesn't hurt from time to time :-)

In other news:

Just over a week before I go home - really excited. Nearly Christmas - super excited. And before all that Zoë's coming out to visit again, I'm going to the Midwinter Fair, and it's Winter Formal which is a good excuse to dress up, if nothing more!

Wow, so much still to do! Really looking forward to the next week!

Getting into the Christmas Spirit!

As if Düsseldorf wasn't enough to get me in the Christmas mood, I put the Christmas decorations up
on Monday ready for Tuesday when we were having our super early Secret Santa yesterday

This is going to be an incredibly short post (rather than just ignore the fact that it happened) because I am completely drowning in deadlines right now but it's not going to do justice to the wonderful evening.

So, instead of writing down what happened I'm going to do things a little differently.

Special thanks to Leonoor for being my now not so Secret Santa and getting me a teapot that is actually large enough to serve multiple cups of tea. Your beautiful wrapping really stole the show! Thank you for letting me paint your nails too, even if it took forever and wasn't as effective as we'd hoped!

Thanks to Thijs for accepting my teasing (and thoroughly disastrous) poem with good grace and humour.

Thank you to Sonja for providing what was possibly the most thoughtful, handmade gift of the year - lets be honest, this girl is through and through special. I think I speak for us all when I say that, even though most of us weren't your giftee, your gift brightened all our evenings!

Thanks to Laura for her thoroughly good company, for finding amusing videos on youtube, and for providing potatoes. No joking, those potatoes were wonderful.

Last but not least, thank you to Dania for providing henna so we could all draw on each other and for fetching drinks for me so I could stay home and get things ready as opposed to popping to the shop.

Oh, and I forgot one very important person who wasn't there but made a big difference:
Thank you to Robbert, the best neighbour I've ever had, for loaning us a lighter at short notice so we could light incense... and thank you for giving the same lighter to me when I told you it was the first lighter I was able to use. I am now the proud owner of a lighter with a picture of a scantily clad man and I will remember you every time I use it*.


*This was Robbert's condition upon giving me said lighter, if I remember correctly ;)

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Three Countries in Two Days

So, having got back from England on Thursday (very kindly met at the airport by Ryan because I would not have made the journey back home alone), I promptly set out on my next adventure. This time I was off to Düsseldorf with Dania and Leonoor to explore the Christmas market.

Leaving Amsterdam Centraal! No prizes for guessing
which one of us noticed the photo being taken!

It's got to be said, mainland Europe is so easy. We popped on an international train in the centre of Amsterdam and in about two hours we found ourselves in Düsseldorf.

Our first evening in the town was a lovely, if a little bit of a cold one. We walked through the various market although, as we later found out, we actually missed a few on this first day. I had to laugh a little though, what with the fact that the 'German' Christmas market back home is actually bigger... so much for authenticity ;-)

I was trying to photograph the stalls but the Dania was quite sure she wanted
to be in the photo. Who am I kidding? She makes it even prettier :)

What was delightful was the way that each mini market had its own theme and atmosphere. It's got to be said that, although we didn't find it on the first day, the Sternchenmarkt was my favourite. It was super busy and seemed to be food and drink focused mainly but it was completely lit by blue white lights making it absolutely magical.

When I booked the trip, my mother made me promise to go on a carousel as I have literally been on one every year at Christmas, well, until I moved out to the Netherlands, that is! Sadly, there were only children's carousels. However, there was a big wheel so we went trip on that and, frankly, I think it more than made up for it. Seeing a bird's eye view of the city by night, lit up for Christmas, was really rather magical. We also got way more than we bargained for and went round so many times that I, quite frankly lost count. We expected to go round twice, or maybe three times tops... by the fifth time we, and the couple who were sharing our car, were both amused and bemused!

On the Big Wheel...pretending we weren't terrified of the height!

We actually set off for home quite early on that day due to the cold and spent most of the night cuddled up in the hotel room watching Abraham Lincoln Vampirjäger despite the fact only 1.5/3 of us could understand what was going on! We did try to get the television in English, and apparently there should have been English channels but it didn't work out so Dania got a quick German lesson instead!

Enjoying the hotel bunk-beds. "Creation of Adam", anyone?

The second day we went into town a bit earlier to go into the shops themselves. It's actually a really nice city with some lovely places on the main drag and, like all cities, there are bound to be hidden gems that we simply didn't find sticking to the central streets. I would like to go back when it's a bit warmer, just to explore the city more thoroughly.

Ready for day two!

Naturally, we spent the evening wondering through the markets a bit more and discovering some really good food, mainly. It's funny, that, whenever Dania, Leonoor and I go somewhere together we end up exploring the food more than anything!

Not every day you come across a field of decorated Christmas trees.

On the Sunday it was time to return to Amsterdam and, for me, to face the start of the deathly stack of deadlines. Distressingly, the train was delayed leaving us waiting on a freezing cold platform for over an hour. On the bright side, Leonoor and Dania used that time to buy a six pack of very good doughnuts for on the train.

What did I tell you? We always end up eating!!

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Flying home for Apocalyptica and Vamps

It's got to be said, last night was probably one of the best gigs I've ever been to. It's most certainly up there. Wow.

It was really strange, a few weeks back I was talking with the wonderful Gemma about Apocalyptica and I was half joking about flying to England to see them again with her. Somehow that joke ended up becoming real!

With Eicca

The show itself was in Wolverhampton's Wulfrun Hall, a  venue I'd never been to before but has hosted quite a good variation of musicians over the years. I have to say, I didn't really rate the venue itself. It was okay but the security staff were a bit, well, acerbic. I mean, understandably, in the wake of the tragedy in France they had to search us all thoroughly but, to give you some idea, the woman who was supposed to be searching me got so confused by the fact I had a little camera and was so busy telling me off for having it that she actually forgot to search beyond the camera that was on top of my handbag. She then went to check, after telling me off, and turns out that my little baby camera was allowed anyway. This seemed to be the basic interaction between security and visitors - if in doubt be strident. Actually, when meeting the band a couple of other girls and I were joking that the whole process was how we'd imagine it if we were convicts going into prison. It's a shame because there are plenty of venues that have brilliant security who are able to be friendly along with it!

Right, that's enough moaning for me!

Before the show, I met Apocalyptica which was completely and utterly surreal. These gentlemen were incredibly important to Tiny Me, just starting to play the cello herself and really into the rock and metal genres. They were one of my earliest inspirations and have therefore been rather significant over many years. Of course, I didn't manage to tell them that, and nor did I plan to! Instead I stood awkwardly and lost all social skills. Seriously, I know I'm generally shy but I think this is the closest I've ever been to "Starstruck". That aside, they were all complete and utter gentlemen, in the truest sense of the word. They were happy to just generally converse and actually spent quite a lot of time talking both about the band and random other things. I mean, Perttu asked me to tell him the vague geography of where we were in England.... for someone who just flew over herself, that was hard!

With Paavo

The rest of the audience slowly filtered in and I was joined by my darling Gemma and Dan, a lovely chap who had come out to Amsterdam the week before. And it was time for the music.

Did I mention that the band supporting Apocalyptica, Vamps, was a band I used to listen to a lot when I was a bit younger and fronted by one of my favourite singers from my early teens? No? Well, you can imagine how surreal this entire line up was then!

I get the feeling that, other than the large Japanese group who had come over to see them, I was one of the only people in the audience who knew Vamps at all and I think the band were aware of their inability to get the audience on side which is a real shame. They're a great group but just not what people were used to, I think. Anyway, I'm over the moon that I got to see them and would really like to see them again, actually. Considering I never thought I'd get to see them at all, last night was really wonderful. I also have to mention how Dan (assisted by the gorgeous Gemma, of course) helped to make my night by not only catching  Ju-ken's pick but by actually giving it to me. Seriously, it seemed that everything was lined up to make Teenage Me exceptionally happy.

In-Denial-About-The-Fact-She's-An-Adult Me was pretty much pleased as punch too.

With Mikko

And then was the main act, in the shape of Apocalyptica. I really do not know how to describe their shows and especially not having attempted to do it already just a few short weeks ago when I was lucky enough to see them in Amsterdam.

This band has such an energy on stage. They are all amazing, amazing musicians but all of whom bring something totally different to the stage experience. Paavo is probably the one who interacts most directly with the audience and does not fail to get them to interact with the music. Mikko also tends to take on this role but, I have to admit, I dislike the stage/drum riser set up as I quite often just didn't watch Mikko as he faded into the background too much. Perttu is, well, 'energetic' on stage, shall we say, diplomatically. I mean, the hole in the back of his cello probably sums up the way he tends to behave, as did the moment when he started to play in an exceptionally suggestive fashion. I've said it before but I still feel it, Eicca grounds the group on stage and is one of the key figures for creating the atmospheric (and probably musical!) harmony.

With Perttu

Of course, there's also the touring vocalist, Franky Perez who has completely won me over. His vocals are strong but sensitive and his stage performance is high impact, full of energy. He balances interacting with the crowd with interacting with the band and, or so it seems, thoroughly enjoys his time on stage. I get the feeling that he's just around for the Shadowmaker tour but I really do hope he stays.

There were some technical difficulties but they didn't really detract from the show and were dealt with in such a professional manner. Apparently they were caused by the UK plug system being different from the European one: "We're used to putting our things into different holes". Oops.

Anyway, with the evening over, Gemma, Dan and I escaped the press of people. They bought themselves shirts and I realised that I had only brought euros because I'm a prat and couldn't. I headed home and spent the entire night super ill (yay) and had to rearrange today's flight to tomorrow. Not sure if I'm going to be up to it tomorrow but no choice. On second thoughts, now I'm having to pay a lot for flight changes, maybe it's a good thing I couldn't spend all my money  on merchandise!!



The photos included in this post were kindly taken by a couple of people, Zoe and Jenny, as the whole camera confusion caused a few issues and they had a camera phone (which caused no confusion because there is no logic in this world) and hence they saved me!

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Sinterklaas in Amsterdam

Today was the arrival of Sinterklaas in Amsterdam and, before I start, I'll preface this with pretty much the same disclaimer as last year:

I'm still not Dutch so I'm talking about my understanding of things as an English person who's heard about all the traditions as such second and third hand. To any Dutch readers who might be here - if you notice any mistakes then please point them out and don't hate me ;-)

This year was, in many ways, similar to last year in that Leonoor, Dania and I went into town and had breakfast before the parade. The difference was that we weren't in quite so early because I didn't misread the times this time (I royally messed up last year!) However, just like last year we got completely drenched in the rain so I guess some things never do change! That said, it did dry up as the parade came by so I managed to get some slightly better photos this year.

So, as last year, I'll start with something of an explanation for those who would be completely flummoxed without one. 

Sinterklaas, as you can probably guess from the name, is the Dutch version of the embodiment of Saint Nicholas and stays a little closer to the figure of the Saint than our own Father Christmas or, indeed, Santa Claus. We'll not get into the fact that Father Christmas and Santa Claus are technically different figures who got merged in the Victorian, I think, era right now... that's just going to complicate matters!

So, in mid-November each year, Sinterklaas arrives in the Netherlands by boat from Spain which is where he spends most of the year (well, where did you think he got mandarins from if he lived in the North Pole!!). Once he arrives in the Netherlands he has separate 'arrivals' in different cities around the country.

He's also assisted by Zwarte Piet, or multiple of them, a character who traditionally wears blackface which, quite understandably, has caused a lot of controversy over recent years. To be honest, other than the fact it's Sinterklaas and I'm basically a large child, part of the reason I enjoy going is to see how what is a very alive political and social issue develops from year to year. I believe they're currently trying to gradually change it to reflect soot, with the story already being that he's black because of going down chimneys, and it was possibly to see a bit of a difference this year. It's probably not fair to change him instantly or without some story-line continuity when it's a children's character who they believe in so I understand why there's desire for a more gradual development as opposed to instant change.

We decide not to ask for pepernoten - the little biscuit things that are associated with this time of year and are given out by the Pieten along the route - and leave them for the real children. Weirdly enough, however, one gentleman came over quite enamoured with my handbag and basically forced me to take quite a lot so I think Dania was happy in the end - thank you Sisi handbag!

So, after a while of standing out in the cold - and minus Dania as she was volunteering that afternoon - Leonoor and I decided to go and grab a warm drink and head back quite content. I mean, for all it's something for children it's a really interesting thing culturally and politically to experience as a non-Dutch person. And, lets be honest, I'm never going to grow up!!

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Belated Birthday Party

"I never want to see another cake"

For the majority of last weekend, and the beginning of this week, I was frantically baking with one event in mind. I felt my sanity wearing away. Dinner was frequently cake off-cuts. Tuesday evening came and it was all so worth it.

I have the best friends ever, you know.

The day before the get together saw Leonoor and I running around town grabbing last minute buffet food and, more importantly, perhaps, bubbly wine. We then came back and started setting up the room ready for the evening itself. I've got to admit that, considering we started with a completely empty room, it looked pretty cosy by the time we'd finished with it. Dania and Leonoor's trek through the rain to collect balloons the day before had paid off.

I think it's pretty safe to say that Sonja was rather happy when she arrived. I'm not quite sure what she was expecting but I hope we lived up to expectations!

After food, it was Leonoor and Dania's turn to surprise both of us, coming into the room with streamers and coordinating tiara's for Sonja and me. Sonja somehow managed to get rid of hers part way through the evening, something I didn't quite manage! As usual when streamers and my lot are concerned, chaos reigned for a period of time ;-)

We then did the great 'gift exchange' which was really special, got to be said. Sonja is going to make me dinner and wrote me the most touching letter imaginable. Laura made a cushion which both fits into the colour scheme of my room and has my initial on it. Leonoor and Dania combined to buy the most stunning quill. While gifts aren't something that I would consider important, the fact that each of my friends gave me something so very personal was something that I found thoroughly touching. Oh, except for Thijs, he forgot! (Love you Thijs!!!)

After that, it was cake cutting time. As it was both our party, and the cake looked a bit like a wedding cake (oops!), we used the opportunity to take some 'romantic' wedding cake shots... you'd have done the same!

It was, without doubt a delightful evening for all the above reasons but, more importantly, because of the company. Various friends popped in and out through the evening adding their own special touch to the happenings. Sonja and I having a casual sing and then Sonja singing us all the most stunning lullabies. It was relaxed, good fun, perfect. Pretty sure this is where I would use that untranslatable Dutch word... if I could pronounce the thing!!! 

I'm too young to be 21!

Credit where credit is due, the title is courtesy of something The Best Friend said a little while back but with which I can connect on a deep level!

Liquid lunch in Hooray's 

I've actually always hated my birthdays. I mean that pretty literally too, even as a child I dreaded them. I don't like the fact that they mark the passage of time in such a final way. The day before is the last day of a whole year while the day itself is just a continuation of time, in my mind. Weirdly, I don't have this problem with new year...

However, no matter how much I dislike the idea of birthdays in their own right, I do rather like the fact that I get to do special things.. This year was extra special for me because my birthday feel on the Saturday, thus ensuring that I could indeed go home for the first time this semester. My parents met me with a banner as I came through arrivals which was sweet but also my personal idea of hell. I just don't know how to respond in those situations but I'm pleased that they did it nevertheless and my room is looking rather festive with the banner strung between the book cases.

At The Fish, and yes, that is a
'Foxy Lady' to the right of the image!

As for the day of my birthday itself, I chose to go into Stratford-upon-avon because, to put it frankly, it's a lovely town and quite easy to kill time in, and in the most pleasant of ways. I also wanted to get a few books from the Royal Shakespeare Company shop. The latter idea didn't work out quite as well as I'd hoped because they hadn't got what I was looking for in stock but still got some fascinating looking reads so there's no real complaints there.

I also have to admit that I have found what may well be one of the best ice-cream shops ever, Hooray's on the High Street. Seriously, Dania would have been thoroughly in her element. Also worth checking out their cocktail menu... lunch time drinking is perfectly acceptable on such occasions!

Naturally, I also went out for dinner with my parents. We went to a place called The Fish which is quite seriously one of the nicest places I know. The decoration is super quirky, or just plain odd, and the food is simply divine. Not to mention the staff who are lovely.

And then it was home for cake!

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Gig time: Apocalyptica supported by Tracer

To be sitting in class until 5:30 prior to a gig seemed like a super bad idea. I wasn't about to skip the class, although it was tempting, yet my mind kept sending me images of an ever growing queue and I sat there in the knowledge that I was not going to be anywhere near the front this time - a.k.a. at the back because I actively avoid the centre at gigs but that's another story!

Thijs and I arrived about an hour before doors opened. There were some people lurking in the area but no real queue. When doors opened we had time to put our bags in the cloakroom and then stroll to the stage. Other than the V.I.P. ticket-holders we were at the front (in reality, this meant we were second row so that's all good). Can I just point out how different this is from the majority of UK shows?

In fact, there were quite a lot of differences compared to the U.K., in the end, although it'll take a few more gigs to work out how generalisable these are. I had my personal space for the entirety of the show except for one moment when a photographer accidentally tapped me with his camera... which suggests the calmness of the crowd is pretty normal because I would not dare take my proper camera to a rock/metal show for fear of, well, a dead camera. Interestingly, I got more squished, and my hair more tangled up, as we attempted to leave at the end.

Anyway, I digress from the show itself.

The warm up band was Australian rock band Tracer. I'd heard some of their stuff before but didn't know them all that well, Thijs hadn't heard them at all. It's pretty fair to say that, by the end of their set we were completely sold. We also met the band briefly after the show and they're delightful guys so an all round good mix. Apparently, they're coming back in the New Year so Thijs and I agreed we should go catch them again and if he pulls out he'll be in trouble ;-)

And Apocalyptica, well, they were awesome but what do you expect? I was lucky enough to see them with Maria a few months back, before they started playing with their new vocalist, Franky Perez. I only say "lucky" because it allowed me to fully appreciate the new dynamic not because I felt that the vocalist detracted at all. Franky is blooming brilliant. He has a great voice, something we knew from Shadowmaker, and is a wonderful live performer. I mean, it's clearly different to the full instrumental performances but it's a good kind of different.

Other than that, I guess the highlight of this show, for me, had to be Eicca's super, super quick string change. I mean, I know he had assistance but that string was on in a few seconds, under a minute, I'd say. I'm as impressed by that as by the music itself!!

I'm not going to spend too much longer writing about this show because, as always, I find it hard to put this kind of experience into words. However, I did book to go see them on the UK tour so I think that gives you some kind of idea as to how much I enjoyed it!

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"Just Popping to Germany"

Last weekend I ignored the many deadlines and exams looming and traveled to Essen to see Faun play one of their extra Luna tour shows. It was a bit of an irresponsible idea but, having missed them at Castlefest because of being stupid and ill, I decided it was worth it. My big exam was today and I didn't feel totally out of my depth so all's well that ends well, right? ;-)

Anyway, back to Essen.

I'm a very happy scrapbooker right now!

Actually, if I'm going to see show that's touring round Germany, I'll try to see it in Essen. It's a lovely little city in many ways. For me, it's great that most people don't speak a lot of English but are patient and really keen to successfully communicate so I get to practice my crappy German without feeling that I'm inconveniencing anyone. I suppose that comes from it not being too much of a tourist hub. It's also comfortable because I've found a nice, affordable hotel about a block away from the theatre.

And now comes the really, really hard bit, attempting to tell you about Faun's concert. Sometimes, well most of the time, it's difficult to find the words to describe a concert. Sure, I've learned to do it academically and, I'm sure if I thought about it, I could tell you a lot of little theatre/literature style analyses but that's not the soul of a performance. 

To cut a very long story short, it was amazing. To be honest, even now, a few days on, it's all still a bit of a blur! There are moments, naturally, that stand out. The memory of the opening, with sudden loud drums making my mother, and most of the audience, jump sky high, still makes me laugh, for example. And I don't think I'll be able to listen to "Walpurgisnacht" without hearing an over enthusiastic audience singing along!

DANKE ESSEN / THANK YOU ESSENVielen Dank wir hatten einen wunderbaren Samstag Abend mit Euch und auch die anschließende...

Posted by FAUN on Sunday, 11 October 2015

Faun are one of my favourite bands; every member is actually quite special, and thoroughly talented, which leads to an all round strength that you don't see in a lot of groups. Rüdiger's drum solo has to stand out though - I mean, it's amazing to hear what can be done by, effectively, 'just' hitting a bit of stretched material. I'm still not quite sure how it was possible! Add to the already wonderful mix a couple of marvelous guest musicians, Efrén López and Maya Fridman, and you have a wonderful musical company.

Something else that I really did like about the show was the way in which it combined theatrics, assisted by the mesmerising dancers Yulya Ayuna Kholeva and  Masha Shushera, with just 'pure' music. There were some songs that were big and all encompassing and then there were other times, like the small set after the interval, when acoustic style music was allowed to shine. This ebb and flow meant that the show was effective in every moment.

To be honest, I could go on in this rambling fashion for quite some time but that's no fun for anyone and doesn't do it justice either so I shall stop.

Something else more than worth mentioning is the signing table moment after the show. It saved me waiting around in the cold to get my scrapbook painting signed - something that is more appreciated than you will ever know. Oh, and it has to be said that the members of the band were even kinder than they are talented, and that's one of the biggest compliments that I could pay.

The Post in Which Havanah Gets Completely Overexcited About Visiting an Art Gallery . . .

Wednesday saw my art history class go to the Hermitage museum in the centre of town. This museum is a branch of the Russian museum of the same name. It isn't one of the state owned Dutch museums and it instead operates, I believe, completely privately. It means it's a bit pricier to get in (or free with a Museumkaart) but it is, I believe, completely and utterly worth it. We only visited the "Portrait Gallery of the Golden Age" but there is another exhibition on Napoleon and Josephine running which I would like to return and see. The layout of the exhibition, and the level of interactivity, has been so carefully thought through that it truly was a pleasure.

The museum's 'Selfie Area' allows people to be green screened into a group portrait type setting that includes photos of previous guests. My teacher (right of me) seemed to confuse the green screen somewhat ;-)

The main gallery is a large hall filled with group portraits which are most impressive. Grouped together like this it is quite overwhelming but in a brilliant way. At regular intervals there is a 'light show' which is linked the audio guide and takes you around key portraits in the room giving details about specific figures. In this sense, you experience something of the scale and magnificence of multiple images alongside one another but are assisted to appreciate the details held within single pieces. It's very cleverly done. Seriously, I rated both the collection and organization here well over the Rijksmuseum.

There's another floor of paintings that we rather rushed through although I don't think I'm alone in saying that most of us could have spent a lot longer looking around had time been on our side. This floor was a bit less about portraiture, although that's still the broad theme, and more about the history of the Netherlands, and Amsterdam in particular. In this sense, it was rather interesting for all of us, particularly us foreign students, as the exhibition gave a lot of really interesting information to contextualise the works, and the area in general. It wasn't overly crowded either which meant it was comfortable to wander through at your own pace and actually enjoy.

Yep, I will be going back here, undoubtedly!

A group photo of the class, taken in the gardens of the museum, seemed only fitting!

Rambling on about 'Pride and Prejudice' by Jane Austen

Well, I finally did it. I broke the vow that I made, aged eight, never to read Austen again. I found Emma on the shelves of my school library. Little Me was thoroughly enchanted by the blurb and decided that it was just the kind of novel I wanted to read. Lets be honest, Adult Me would have acted in exactly the same way. However, Little Me started to struggle with the novel and really wanted to stop reading... except her teacher was a huge Austen fan and wouldn't let her stop. Little Me got the end of Emma, paying no attention to what she read by the end and swore to never out herself through that again!

When I saw that as part of my Adaptation Studies course, I had to read Pride and Prejudice I was rather split, it has to be said. Part of me was actually quite happy. I had an aversion to Austen but I also knew that a lot of the aspects would be very much to my taste, from plot to focus on social interactions in a historical context. I'd wanted an excuse to give her another go for years but the remaining part of Little Me was trembling at the thought. 

Anyway, I sat down and read the novel. I got to the end. I managed to follow the plot to the end. I didn't skip masses of pages (that's harder on a kindle). It was a success.

I can see why I struggled with Austen when I was younger. Part of me really enjoyed the novel and then part of me wanted it to end with some promptness. Events were drawn out. Characters acted in ways that made me want to knock their heads together. In fact, when I think about it, I'm not sure that there was one truly likable character in that novel, except perhaps Jane.

When one moves beyond what was quite a difficult style at times, the plot itself is actually quite enjoyable. It's full of themes that still ring very true today from the different kinds of love to the varying forms of duty. The ways in which the characters act, while perhaps not driven by kindness, are understandable and make sense within a modern context. Perhaps some aspects of the novel are not so relevant now, or to the general non-upper class reader, but they are aspects that we can still associate with.

Over the next few weeks I'm going to be watching various films, and reading texts, that are in some way linked to Pride and Prejudice, some being direct adaptations. I have to say that I'm actually quite interested. While I enjoyed the novel in some senses, I am quite eager to see the story carried into a different format and freed of the somewhat clunky writing that didn't quite fit in with my own personal tastes.

So, after many years, I have conquered Austen. Still not planning on giving Emma another go any time soon ;-)

Not for facebook

The Best Friend visits.

Just over a week ago, on Thursday, I sat here waiting for my best friend to message me to say that she knew her arrival time. There had been some crash that had delayed traffic and she was somewhere in the Rotterdam vicinity with little knowledge of exactly how delayed she was. Not to mention the fact that her phone, had once again decided not to work when off of British soil making it tricky to contact one another. Eventually, and a little later than planned we managed to meet up and we made our way back to my flat ready to spend the next week together.

Friday, we were quite happy to spend the morning sleeping and chatting. A short stroll around my flat (to the nearest Albert Heijn) was also  undertaken. I had a class in the afternoon and it seemed illogical to attempt to do anything major that morning what with the general exhaustion of the journey still having something of an effect on Aimee.

The evening saw Leonoor, Dania, and Thijs join us for a trip into town. Aimee felt she had to see the Red Light District while over here and so we made an evening of it, grabbing something to eat and drink before wandering around a little. We also managed to introduce Aimee to the wonders of poffertjes (little fluffy pancakes of delight)

Saturday was supposed to be a day trip day but I was feeling a little unwell in the morning so we decided it was better to stay closer to come. Instead we wandered around the museum district and I bought Aimee a fresh stroopwafel - she loves the shop bought ones in England so it seemed only right!

Sunday saw us visit Paleis Het Loo, the place we were supposed to visit on Saturday. I'd particularly wanted to go here because there was an exhibition on Empress Elisabeth (Sisi) running. It focused mainly on the myth of the films compared the reality, a little on her visit to the Netherlands and gave a basic overview of her life. A lot of the items I had seen before or were replicas of things that I had seen before but some things on display were new to me and of great interest. Aimee, who knew little of Elisabeth except what she'd picked up from me, seemed to enjoy this exhibition rather a lot too.

As for the palace itself, well, it was a mixed place. Some aspects were lovely and some were... confused, I guess. Some rooms were exquisite, some seemed like less vibrant versions of palaces and houses that I'd seen elsewhere and some were full of badly placed art. I mention the latter because there were some quite lovely artworks that were incredibly difficult to see, and impossible to fully appreciate, because of their positioning in rooms that really did not suit them. You understand how much that pained me!

Something that must be said of the place, however, is that the gardens were truly lovely. The grounds are, as I understand it, quite extensive and we did not have time to see much of them, staying in the formal gardens. All the same, it was lovely. I would like to return just to spend a day looking around the grounds, in all honesty.

Monday was spent vastly apart as I had classes all day and Aimee went into town for the day. We did spend the evening together eating a roast dinner and drinking mead or, in my case, spilling aforementioned mead all over my carpet and Budapest scrapbook. I somehow managed to get the mead out of the carpet (miraculous as the carpet is off-white and it was a summer berry mead!)  and have only done minimal damage to the scrapbook...

Tuesday was another trip into town for a stroll through the shopping areas and a 'farewell' dinner. We decided to have our main evening meal out a day early in awareness of Aimee's early departure on the Thursday. 

Finally, the Wednesday we decided to spend in my flat. It was tipping it down with rain and we were both too lazy to go out. That aside, we are quite capable of entertaining ourselves and it was nice to have some time whereby we were simply hanging out as friends as opposed to attempting to be tourists together. Admittedly, though the entire week we had stolen moments were we could watch films, chat, or play silly computer games but it was nice to have a day of relaxation.

When Thursday morning came we were both pretty upset both because Aimee was to leave and because we both had to get up at an insane hour in order to get her to the bus station. Eventually, and after much hugging, I put her on the bus. Once she'd got on, the driver jokingly told me not to cry to which I replied that I wasn't going to cry... I'd finally got rid of her. He threatened to tell Aimee what I'd said and I wonder if he did... either way, his joking was exactly what I needed because, without it, I would have undoubtedly been in floods of tears. Why are goodbyes so difficult?

Anyway, Aimee promised me faithfully to let me know when she crossed back into England and  also when she got back home to Cardiff and I've not heard from her since I put her on the bus. I'm not worried because she's hardly the most reliable woman ever (and I've spoken to her mother!) but, just in case you read this before I speak to you next Aimee, you're in big trouble ;-)

Semester Three Introduction Time

Right now I should be sitting here working on getting all my readings and tasks for the weeks ahead finished. Instead I'm sat here, surrounded by rather difficult, and extremely long, texts, crying into my cup of tea. Okay, I'm metaphorically crying into my cup of tea both because I'm not actually crying and because I've long since finished my tea. But that's beside the point. It seemed high time I got started with some procrastination and wrote my once a semester sum up of what courses I am studying.

Introduction to Visual Methodologies

This course is a compulsory module for all humanities students. Part of me is looking forward to it because it does seem interesting and the teacher seems lovely. I am a little worried about how much overlap there's going to be with the art history courses I've already taken as it's obviously intended for people who've not done any. 

It seems to focus on the different philosophical views towards art over the years and the ways in which they've fed into criticism so it should hopefully have a different slant. I've not found it challenging so far (only two classes in though). Admittedly, some of the texts are difficult but that's philosophers for you! In short, it's either going to be a course I love or it's going to be a little dull, I think. We'll wait and see!

Narrative Across Media

This course was one I signed on to a bit on a whim as Dania was planning on taking it and showed me the course description (and it looked good). It's supposed to look at the way narratives behave when portrayed through different media using narratology. For example, how are narratives presented in novels differently to in poems? 

This is another course I'm not sure about right now. The teacher, although really engaging, was very clear that he wanted to champion a scientific approach to the humanities as opposed to an interpretation based one.  If you know me then you'll know my opinion on that. I do like narratology, however, so that should work out. I also think that the teacher is confident in his own abilities and status to be open to people having different opinions on what humanities should be about. The issue will be writing my papers in the style that this course dictates... On the other hand, the last class seemed a lot less strict on the whole "Humanities are science" thing, rather using narratology as a framework for interpretation - something I can deal with and agree with.

Adaptation Studies

This one sounds quite similar to Narrative Across Media in many ways as it looks at the adaptation of texts into other medias and new versions. For example, we read Pride and Prejudice and then look at various adaptations... films, television series, Bollywood films, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies etc etc etc and work with those. The texts chosen look really interesting and watching/reading multiple versions of a thing is right up my street.

In fact, while this course seemed to have quite a bad reputation, I think it may end up being my favourite. I agree with the main text book author on most things, the teacher is good fun and engaging and the general subject corresponds with what I actually want to do in life. It's wonderful. 

Art and the Body

I ended up in Art and the Body really late as I had planned on taking Creative Writing this semester and then Art and the Body next year as it was better for me timetable wise and also workload wise. Of course, Creative Writing was oversubscribed.

Art and the Body is exactly what it sounds like. The first half looks at how the body is portrayed in art, focusing mainly on portraiture and, to be honest, it's fascinating. The second section is on how art influences the body from corsets to tattoos. What a subject! To see that double influence is just really exciting. I also know this teacher as I've had her before and she is great. She knows her stuff, is passionate, strict enough to run an organised class but really kind too. 

So, overall, it seems that I've got a bit of a strange mix of classes that I feel I will love and ones I'm less sure about. The fact is, I'm sure I will gain something from all the classes I'm taking and will grow to enjoy them all in some way because I always do in the end. I also feel that I will like the teachers for all of them which, while it shouldn't be an issue, is always important. We'll see how they all go!

Not for facebook

Back in Amsterdam at last

A week today and my best friend will be out in Amsterdam. At last, we will be reunited for more than a couple of hours as I am kidnapping her she's chosen to visit me for a week. I can't quite put into words my unbelievable excitement about this fact. Aimee is someone I grew up with, a part of my family and, frankly, it's about time she got to see Out Here. I'm sure you'll hear much more about that soon enough but this is supposed to be a blog post about things that have already happened, right? It's not like there hasn't been a lot happening!

As you're no doubt aware, due to the crazily short holidays here compared to back in England, I am once again in Amsterdam and am part way through my first week of my second year at university. 'Second year' of university sounds way more advanced than I currently feel so I'm pretty pleased I took time out before starting else I think I would have felt even more overwhelmed!

I'll probably put up a post giving a bit about my classes at some point in the next few days but I'll stop it from going on facebook so if you're interested in that then check back here in a little while!

Sonja's semi-posed photo from pancake-meet up. I'll give you a clue,
the two of us smiling awkwardly were the posed ones!

Aside from classes,  it's been great to be back. I've managed to meet up with my main little group a couple of times although I've been neglecting a lot of people and that really does need to change. I've also found out that some messages I've sent over the past few months haven't sent so I need to work out who I've been unknowingly ignoring! Oh and I probably should study a bit.

But I digress...

Yesterday, probably deserves a special mention as the pancake themed meet up. The wonderful Sonja, who seems to have got better at hiding from my camera again over the summer, made us all pancakes and we sat and chatted for a while, just catching up on stuff that had happened while we were apart.

Dania's Pancake, created by Sonja.
Seems to sum both giver and recipient up nicely!

Other than meeting up with some friends, and with plans to catch up with some more, I've spent a fair amount of time rearranging my flat. It's a complete mess right now, partly because I've pulled out a lot of papers in attempts to clear some desk drawers, partly because I've brought over a lot of (beautiful) scrapbooking materials, and partly because I still need to assemble my new IKEA bookcase because one was never going to be enough for me. It'll keep me busy over the next few days, for sure!

All in all, it's strange but good to be back. I'm currently in that weird state of feeling like I've never been away but also feeling like everything's quite new again. I guess, I've not really been alone for two months and now I'm in my own flat once more. I've not had a structured work schedule and suddenly I have hundreds of pages to read a day. And let's not mention the early mornings! It's great but it is undoubtedly odd!

Here comes trouble!

A long awaited get-together

It's been a bit of a time since I last saw the lovely Gemma, out in Amsterdam, so today was a long awaited reunion, this time in Birmingham. 

After driving around for about twenty minutes, fighting with road closures and bus lanes, I managed to make it to the station where we were due to meet. We met up quite easily after that although, sadly, Mark was unable to join us as planned. I mean, how dare he get ill!

I've never really got used to Birmingham having moved to Amsterdam pretty quickly after my parents moved here so it was down to Gemma to look after me for the day. I've spent time here, of course, but as a child and, later, as a casual visitor.

We started the day being the tallest people in the Disney store which was, quite frankly, rather fun. Having studied Disney in rather negative lights at university (thanks Dan!), it's taken me a while to enjoy the more fun aspects again. I mean, it is tacky and commercial but it's also childhood, for better or for worse. Also, lets be honest, the cuddly toys are really rather cute. Mindful of the fact that anything I bought had to fit alongside my other stuff in the suitcase to go back home, I was exceptionally good and only bought one Alice in Wonderland themed mug in there. What can I say, mugs are my weakness... must be something to do with their link to tea...

Thanks to Birmingham Art Gallery for not disguising this supermarket
bought oil, included in their ancient oil lamp display. Had me in hysterics!

Talking of which, after lunch we went round the art gallery which, to be honest, is really rather awesome. It's the one part of the city I know my way around. It's a small-ish gallery when you compare to some of the major galleries but it has an exquisite collection. Its Pre-Rafaelite rooms are probably a highlight, particularly for me as it's one of my favourite stylistic movements. It also houses much of the Staffordshire Hoard which is the largest collection of Anglo-Saxon metalwork to have been found. Actually, that exhibition is especially strong with extra information about the discovery, restoration as well as historical information and activities for children. Gemma was instantly drawn to the dressing up box but, you know, who could blame her!

We rounded off what was an all round delightful day with tea in the gallery's Edwardian tearooms. Who can honestly say they could resist tea with mini scones?

Aaaand we didn't get one photo together... idiots that we are!!!

Castlefest 2015

"I wasn't at the festival because I was very sick but, when I was there, I was trying to make Dafni dance" 

-Havanah's Castlefest according to Dafni 

From left to right, Heleen, Dafni, me.

This year's post isn't going to be quite the same size as those in previous years. I usually try and comment on every aspect of Castlefest and the bands I saw in order to satisfy my obsessive documentation needs. This year, there isn't so very much to say. I managed to get food poisoning (as did my poor mother) which meant that Castlefest was rather short for us both. We managed to go for part of Saturday although we left early and did little, and most of Sunday, although both of us were still pretty weak. We're not buying from that shop ever again!!!

I had planned to see quite a few different bands, with time to lurk around and look at the various things around and about. I had also planned to camp but, at 1 a.m. on the Thursday night it became quite clear that wasn't going to happen. After several hours feeling exceptionally trapped and sorry for myself with only twitter for company, I finally gave in and called a taxi. It was the right decision considering, as soon as I got to the hotel, I was really ill. It was the most expensive taxi ride of my life and also the one that I am most pleased I chose to take!

So, it was Saturday afternoon before I made it to the festival grounds and, to be honest, I only managed to catch a couple of bands that day and mainly sat around one of the stages. By the afternoon I was pretty dead and, much to my annoyance, I had to leave before the evening started. No wicker man, no Cesair main stage (although I did manage to see them the next day, indeed it was the only show I actually managed to stand for!), no Faun. I was pretty upset over missing Faun but I am pretty sure I'm going to see them in Essen to make up for it so all things balance out, I suppose. I can't make up for missing Dafni see her favourite band for the first time but there we go!

Cesair's Sunday set: The one show I actually managed to photograph properly!

I did manage to watch Rastaban with Dafni and attempted to force her to join in a bit... hey, someone needs to be that annoying friend who attempts to coerce participation. I attempted to continue my Dafni training at home when 'Arise' played on the CD to cries of "here we go again!"

The other highlight for me would have to be when I went to get my scrapbook painting signed by Finvarra and they were totally overwhelming in their kindness. Still can't get over how lovely they were, particularly when those paintings are, as far as I'm concerned, my little hobby for myself and nothing special at all. It was the last moment of the weekend for me and, quite frankly, it made it for me.

Photo taken from Finvarra's facebook page :-)

I didn't take many photos this year for obvious reasons but the few I did take can be found on my facebook page, as always!

Musings on how amazing the human body really is

Today I did something I have not done in, quite literally, years and played my keyboard. It got put out of the way of the first flood for safekeeping and never had a home again. I'm planning to get it shipped to the Netherlands as I'd like to play again. It was never an instrument I excelled in - it asks for unnatural coordination if you ask me! That said, I was surprised to find that, playing with just the right hand, I was able to play a few folky tunes through by ear almost instantly. That's got to say something about how my ear's improved as well as how muscles really do remember.

Unsurprisingly, playing with my left hand was diabolical.

Pretty sure it's worth bringing out to the Netherlands though, especially as my late night music practice urges will be assisted by an instrument with an earphone jack!

But it's not all that which inspired my writing of this post, rather the fact that it was really quite magical to feel my fingers, quite naturally, playing notes that, if I thought about it, I would not be able to find. It was easy stuff. Exceptionally easy. But, by all logic, I shouldn't have been able to play that.  How do your fingers manage to find the notes for a piece which you have never played before regardless of the fact that your sight reading has really not improved at all but, undoubtedly, worsened? How does your body remember how to do something more than five years on when your mind has long since forgotten?

It's pretty amazing if you ask me.

Almost makes me believe I could start dancing again ;-)

Not for facebook

Jesus Christ Superstar

Yesterday evening, my parents and I popped down to Bristol (not exactly a short journey) to see Jesus Christ Superstar at the Bristol Hippodrome. I've only seen the musical live once, in Hungary a while back, and I was rather looking forward to seeing it again.

Jesus Christ Superstar is, in my opinion, a good musical which tells a rather exceptional story which, with insightful direction and a talented cast, can become something great. The cast for last night was exceptional and the design and direction, overall, something rather special.

I must admit that I like Jesus Christ Superstar. As I said above, I feel that the musical itself is not the best show ever. The songs, with a few exceptions, aren't that special. However, it is working with some amazing material - whether you follow the faith or not it's a powerful story - and this musical makes that story accessible, in my opinion for people of all beliefs.The musical doesn't force the audience to accept that Jesus is anything supernatural but allows for that jump to be taken if individuals feel that it fits.  It's the story of human emotions in exceptional circumstances. 

And, that is where the cast were brilliant. Every member succeeded in conveying a rounded character (when called for). Vocally everyone was strong and worked together well with a mixture of tones and vocal textures. The dance parts were impressive, with every member really into it and looking like they relished every moment of being up there performing. There are a couple of the non-lead/chorus cast members that I will be looking up when I have my programme to hand and I will be keeping an eye on where they go next!

The only person who I wasn't 100% struck on was Rachel Adedeji as Mary Magdalene but then I think it takes someone truly out of this world to bring that character to life for me, particularly in the first act. I warmed to Adedeji's performance as Mary's character became more interesting in act two so we'll blame the fact that I don't like Jesus Christ Superstar's Mary Magdalene much rather than the actress. In fact, my parents spoke very highly of Adedeji and using good old youtube I've looked her up and find that I quite like her voice too.

Anyway, I can't speak about every brilliant cast member or I would have to write about each of them in turn so I will focus on the highlights, as agreed by my family!

Seeing Glenn Carter as Jesus was one of the reasons I booked this show. His performance in the 2000 recording was exceptional and became my benchmark for the role. It's a lot to live up to live, and fifteen years on, but Carter managed to do just that. His dedication to the character, and to portraying both emotional and physical anguish, is something rather incredible.

The cast also included the wonderful Cavin Cornwall as Caiphas, something I didn't actually realise until I arrived and bought the programme. Wow, what a voice! The other thing that struck both me and my parents (who both mentioned him as their 'favourite') was just how graceful he was on stage. The character seemed in control, powerful and menacing through the sheer elegance and poise he showed.

Finally, Tim Rogers as Judas was wonderful. It took me a while to warm up to him... but then 'Heaven on Their Minds' seemed a bit out in terms of sound tech so one does wonder. However, Rogers portrayed a Judas who I grew to love. You ever get that feeling where you want to go up and hug a character? Lets just say that his suicide had my mother and I in tears. My dad's a toughie. It was acted exquisitely. And 'The Last Supper' was wonderful with Rogers and Carter playing off against each other vocally in such a way that both were able to showcase their (rather great) abilities.

And while we're talking of great acting we have to mention the intensity of the second act. I joked with my parents that we should leave after act one... before it all goes to pot! I actually don't know how to put the second act into words. It features a couple of distinct scenes of obvious violence - the whipping scene and the crucifixion itself - and each of these scenes are drawn out much longer than is comfortable. There is no gratuitous violence and gore but the emotional reaction of the characters is more than enough. There's no way that an audience can go away untouched from a performance like this.

The curtain call was rather short. The clapping wasn't overly enthusiastic. There was no standing ovation. Walking out into the street I could hear people discussing the performance in a most positive fashion. The truth is that, at the time of the curtain call I think we were all to shell-shocked to actually show our appreciation fully straight afterwards.

I can't get moments of the show out of my head. It was an astounding piece of art. Part of me wants to see it again. Part of me needs to give my emotions some serious time to recover.

Lack of routine leads to boring blog posts but to happy Havanahs

Ah, the freedom of the last weeks has allowed me to reacquaint myself with so many old friends... sleep... art... music... Aimee...

I also seem to have made some new friends as my shower gel (or that's what we think it must be) seems to attract moths. Seriously, I spend most evenings covered in moths and my mother has to get them off of me before I sleep so I don't squash them. I don't mind... it's quite flattering really!

You may call me the Moth Queen ;-)

All that aside, I think I've been quite noticeably absent from my normal channels of communication. I've been avoiding facebook (not actively but it's happened), I've not been logging onto Skype because even when I have the computer on the keyboard is generally too far away for me to type, I've let my phone run out of charge rendering that pretty useless. Okay, I've now recharged my phone as I've decided to end my self imposed, and oh so blissful, retreat.

It has been lovely to be free to dictate my own schedule and not to feel the overbearing press of deadlines and "I must get this A grade". In the first few days at home I probably painted etc for all the hours that weren't spent sleeping or eating. It was as though there was a real backlog! 

Sitting under a parasol in the middle of nowhere.
It's a hard old life.

I have also, quite naturally, been spending a fair bit of time with my parents which has been... interesting. I'm really close to my family but, as anyone who has met my father will confirm, he is quite excitable... to say the very least. Well, he's been excited to have me home - which is lovely - but that also means he's extra bouncy. It's like having a human shaped puppy bouncing around most of the time!

Catching up with people has also meant bugging the best friend in Cardiff where she is now working seven days a week. The insane girl. We only got to have one day together - her one day off of the summer - but she's going to come and see me in Amsterdam in September so we'll be together for a week or so then. Read that Aimee? It's in black and white now so there's no backing out now!

More recently, I've been translating again and I have cleared a great deal in that regard. I have to say that, with those couple of weeks of German lessons, I have found my speed of translation much improved. It's not that I couldn't do it before but now, knowing some of the basic grammatical rules, which I may have either fumbled through or completely missed previously, I know what to look for and it is so much easier. 

I'm thinking about focusing on language learning over the next few weeks as I still have a few languages on my 'to learn' list. Also need to get round to seriously brushing up on French, having not spoken it in coming up to three years - oh my!