Putting things back in perspective

Yesterday was difficult for me. It saw me miss out on something that I was really looking forward to (well several things really) because I wasn't well. In my ill haze I couldn't help but feel angry with myself, after all it was as though my own body was letting me down...again. Yesterday it felt like, after everything that has happened recently, this was the final straw, the end of the world.

Today, after a sleep and without being in so much discomfort everything does seem a lot better. My head is still spinning and my lungs ache something chronic but other than that I feel all but better and I can look at yesterday a lot more objectively.

It wasn't the end of the world. Yes, I won't get to look around the university but if I get an interview I will have a chance to get a feel of it so it doesn't matter all that much.

KLM are going to let us reschedule the flights, albeit for a small admin fee. When I was taken ill at the airport I expected it to be 400 pounds gone. We will be able to use these flights to rebook if I get an interview or just to look around Amsterdam.

Annelies and I will get to meet up some other time. She's been lovely over this period too and, to be fair, that kind of human compassion is what makes this world so special. 

I got to go through areas of the airport normal people never get to see. I also went through immigration without actually having been abroad which was a bizarre little experience! These are all new experiences, and experiences a lot of people don't have.

And, last but not least, I ended up spending so much time in the airport that I got to listen to a load of announcements in Dutch and I understood them. Hello proof that my Dutch understanding is improving even if the reproduction isn't ;-)

Somehow, what happened yesterday doesn't seem so bad after all!

Incidentally, this is my 100th blog post

Book review - 'God of Wine' by Elizabeth Zahzam

Rating: 5/5 stars

Plot:

"When Dionysus, god of theatre and wine, manipulates the lives of two struggling performers, the results are as dramatic as theatre itself.

Struggling to overcome his history as a drunk, Broadway star Taylor O'Neal lives a guarded life and seeks escape from the man who made him a star. His benefactor and former enabler, Dionysus, has another script in mind for Taylor--not a drama for the stage, but one to be played out in Taylor’s life.

During a summer blackout, Dionysus meets Kristen, and finds her ideal for a role that will rock Taylor’s marriage and tear at his precarious sobriety. When he orchestrates a meeting, Kristen falls in love with Taylor as he hoped.

Dionysus concocts a series of wicked scenes while Taylor and Kristen move toward one another and into his trap. But how far do the powers of the god of wine extend? Do either of them have any hope of breaking free before their inevitable climax leads to tragedy?

God of Wine, set under the bright lights of Broadway, is an allegorical tale of a potent but deadly ménage a trois:

As Taylor passed the bar, the colored bottles glimmered like jewels. Thirst, from his core, raged so strong he feared for his life. At the door, he sensed Dionysus scrutinizing him. For a second, feeling the tightening of the cord connecting them, Taylor feared he was still Dionysus’ puppet, pulling to break free.

He grappled with what he knew were black desires, and yet they rose like beacons of light. Past and new sensations. The bottles, yes. They called, offering a reprieve from his anxiety. A meeting with Dionysus triggered temptation, but tonight went beyond the flashbacks he expected. The girl, Kristen, complicated everything."

-from 'God of Wine' on Goodreads

Review:

Anyone who knows me will have no trouble in realizing what attracted me to this book. Anything from mythology tends to catch my interest and a novel exploring the duel nature (multiple natures) of Dionysus seemed right up my street. I certainly didn’t pick this book by its cover which, despite being based on a good idea, looks rather unattractive and, no matter what the old adage says, might have put me off reading the novel… yep, I’m pretty fickle! The book itself, the important bit, was quite wonderful. I enjoyed almost every aspect of the novel and I could see this becoming one of my favourite books, assuming it stands up to the test of time!

The story follows several actors as their lives are woven together and torn apart by the enigmatic Dionysus. The characters are not always likable, not always possible to relate to but they are always interesting and engaging. They fit perfectly within the plot.

The only part of the novel I struggled with was the fact it’s split into two main halves. I’m not good with books that do this and I tend to drift away. ‘God of Wine’ had much the same effect on me but, to be fair, I feel that this is more because of my personal preferences as opposed to any failings within the book. In fact, I appreciated the idea of splitting the novel into Acts, Scenes etc. It was an extension of the metaphors of theatre and life that run throughout the plotline and this worked really well.

As for the writing style itself, I found it to be beautiful. It’s quite flowery and embellished but elegant. It seems to give the story a certain spiritual weight away from the modern setting. There are also some rather profound moments regarding human nature and life in general.

I think that was why I enjoyed this novel so much. It’s a study of human nature, of life in general. I feel that the plot could be interpreted in so many different ways and has many different nuances that I look forward to exploring when I read the book again. Add to this the fact that it’s beautifully written and what’s not to like?

You can buy the kindle edition of this book here... it's well worth the money!

Well, I didn't get quite as far as intended

Okay, I'll be honest, today has been a horrible day. It's been one of the worst days in a long, long time. I was supposed to be going to Amsterdam to look around the university I applied to but I didn't manage to leave the country.

I didn't feel top form when I woke up this morning. By the time I was airside I felt pretty grim. In the end I had to leave without flying. I didn't manage to look at the university, which was vitally important, and I didn't manage to meet up with Annelies, which was something I was so looking forward to doing.

I will admit that I have spent most of the day either sleeping or crying. I feel better now than I did, although still not 100% by any stretch of the imagination but I am really sorrowing on what I have missed. Even more than that, I feel like my own body has once again let me down. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning, and when I feel less ill, and my mind tells me that everything happens for a reason and things will work out in the end but I just feel incredibly low. I normally wouldn't blog if I felt a bit down because I'm not into letting people know but the fact is that most people know that I was supposed to be traveling today and a lot of (lovely) people have written to ask how it went.

KLM, who I was supposed to be flying with, have been really wonderful and have put a note on the booking so we'll be able to rearrange our flights. This means I'll be able to visit Amsterdam even if I miss out on seeing the university and I'll manage to see Annelies, I hope, too.

Eh, things will sort themselves out in time.

Would you enter someone's home uninvited?

Beware, this is a bit of a rant.

About fifteen minutes ago, I signed for a parcel on behalf of my neighbours. Now, I do this quite often and it's not the end of the world. They go out while I work from home. Usually the person delivering the parcel rings my front door bell, I go to the door and sign for the thing.

Today things were a bit different. I was sitting in bed as I'm ill. My parents had gone out to the pub up the road to get something to eat (I don't mind, by the way!) and I'd unlocked the front door to let them back in. We have an internal door that also locks due to the fact that the house was extended (before my time) and this door was, luckily, locked. 

Nevertheless, hearing a sudden beating against this door was concerning. A few moments later, the front door bell, which is located outside the front door, rang. I put the chain on the internal door (the major benefit of not having got round to changing the door since the sixties!) and shouted "What?!" through the crack in the door (*)

I was asked what house this was. I replied with the number which, incidentally, was prominently stated next to the really obvious doorbell that he had just rang which was next to our shut front door. In the end he asked me to sign for a parcel and was on his way.

Well, actually, last I heard he was in the drive still. Next door came back about 15 minutes later and, when I moaned at them about him (making it clear I wasn't blaming them in the slightest!), they said he was still in the grove. That's a little creepy.

So, I'm in the process of writing a letter to the parcel delivery company. To be honest, as a nineteen year old girl at home alone in her dressing-gown this wasn't a pleasant experience. For someone vulnerable or elderly it could be terrifying. I could have been pretty bad for the delivery man too. My neighbour straight away said that if anyone had done that in their house he'd have hit them. To be fair, although I don't condone violence in any way, I can quite understand his reasoning.

See, I told you this would be a rant and nothing more!

(*) I should probably say that I'm usually more polite to people who come to the front door but if you let yourself into my house then you classify as both a threat and as someone I'm angry with.

Book review - 'Tea, Sandwiches and Hardcore Pornography' by Trevor Mcinsley

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Plot:

"From the creator of Sixteen Alligators and a Trebuchet, Trevor Mcinsley Moments and any number of other books that you have never heard of comes... this book. Yeah, melodrama is not my strong suit. Fortunately comedy is...

Trevor Mcinsley is a man with one simple aim: To find out what happens when you send over 300 of the most bizarre emails imaginable to various supermarkets, car companies, customer service departments and warring East Asian nations...

The results might surprise you.

For instance who’d have thought an email about contracting leprosy in a Lidl supermarket would get a serious response?

Or one about hang gliding from the top of the CN Tower?

Or asking Pringles why they have never run an ad which simply says ‘Pringles: Eat them or we will murder you and your family’?

Or asking about bringing an air horn to mass at St Paul’s Cathedral?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Or... well, you get the point."

-from 'Tea, Sandwiches and Hardcore Pornography' on Goodreads

Review:

Last night, after doing a tonne of work during the day, I flicked through my unread kindle books looking for something light to read. “Tea, Sandwiches and Hardcore Pornography” was the book that I finally settled upon.

The idea is simple, email customer service departments (etc.) of various companies and institutions with unusual, and often ridiculous, complaints and ideas and see how they respond. Simple as the concept is, it results in some rather hilarious exchanges as people try to do their jobs in the face of adversity.

I can’t really give this book as long a review as I would normally because it’s hard to comment on the usual aspects I would comment upon (there’s no real plotline or characters, for example). That said, I did enjoy reading through Mcinsley’s collection of emails and would recommend others do the same if they have a spare moment or two. 

I also worry what type of people are going to be drawn to my blog by this title... It's not what you think!!

As I write, this book is free for kindle if you click here!

And life keeps on moving on

So it's apparently 2014 now. Who'd have thought it! Nothing's really changed which is no surprise after all true change is a steady process as opposed to a split moment. 

This morning, however, I did get something a bit new for the new year and that would be this beautiful little whistle to replace the one that my dad has nicked off of me (and not paid for, I may hasten to add!) It feels really strange to be playing high whistle again after two months of just low whistle. Just working out the right breath pressure and finger spacings again is a challenge. We're getting on quite well so far though.

New addition to the Havanah home orchestra.

Other than that it's continuing to attempt to improve my life! I'm working especially hard on the Dutch at the moment because, for some reason, the wind has got into my sails. I'm determined to have at least some conversational fluency by the end of my gap year and I'm immensely lucky in that I have a couple of friends who I know would be more than willing to help me with that should I throw myself at them!

Of course, the whole Amsterdam university application continues to hang over my head. I've heard absolutely nothing from them so far, which isn't the end of the world, but want to get myself ready for an interview. Although I am not confident that I will even get an interview I do want to be sure that if I do I have prepared myself the best I can so better to start early, right? I'll be going out for an open day in a couple of weeks too. Flying to Amsterdam and back in one day seems pretty daunting but I have to remind myself that it can't be as bad as the time I went to Glasgow and back to Devon by coach in one day (well in reality it ended up as 48 hours of being awake and traveling).

Whatever happens this year, I've got one thing arranged!

It's also about the time that I'm getting really ready to go off and travel. I am hoping to work my way from Budapest via Austria, Germany,  to Castlefest in the Netherlands. This had been my plan for a little while but I've been putting off arranging it because I'm not so sure that I want to do it alone. It's not that I mind being alone but I would rather have some kind of companion for this kind of trip. I'm going to start doing some arranging, however, and then see if anyone cares to join me.