Dancing in the Rain and Fighting with German

This post isn't quite as smushy as it could be in terms of content but it's likely to be pretty smushy in terms of grammar. Seriously, I am so tired/have been speaking so much German, I can't remember how to English right now! 

Keltfest

When I went to Keltfest last weekend, I was pretty determined to write a full post about it. As you can see, I have not managed to stick to that plan but, all the same, here we go! So, this year I went with the wonderful Heleen and we had a thoroughly delightful time. It's always a very early morning start to get there from my flat and, because storms where forecast, I decided to take the bare minimum (i.e. no camera) and just go to enjoy myself. And I think it's pretty fair to say that we really did have a good time. We watched William's solo set which was lovely, no surprise there. It's nice to hear a stripped back set once in a while, actually, and to sit down for it. We also watched Pyrolysis... well, I say watched... it was more "listen from a distance while attempting to keep somewhat dry". While I only discovered them about a year ago, or a little less, I have started to make a point of catching their sets because they are both generally polished and high energy. And finally, we braved the rain for Rapalje because that's basically compulsory. The crowd was, as always, so much fun. Yes, I even ended up dancing for a bit - imagine drowned rat me, with no spatial awareness, carrying a super heavy bag with mead in it, attempting to dance in a crowd.... not elegant but sure fun nevertheless!

Actually, for all Keltfest is only getting a couple of paragraphs, it's one of my favourite festivals. It's always a little quieter than the other major ones and has a really nice atmosphere. There are some wonderful stalls with handmade pieces from jewellery to the compulsory drinking horns. Everyone tends to be friendly. It's generally relaxed and all round wonderful, even if the weather leaves something to be desired! At least I didn't get hellish sunburn this year like I did last!

German

The last week has been one that I've been dreading, quite frankly. It's the (final!!!) German intensive of my degree. For those of you that don't know how my silly university works (if you do then skip this paragraph), we have to do a certain number of language levels (three) in intensive study periods. Effectively, this means you study for a month non stop and are supposed to improve a full level on the European framework, and then you take (approx) half a year out before the next intensive month. I don't know about you, but I need some time to internalise new skill based information before you pack new stuff on top making the speed of learning pretty bad.... and five(+) months is a long time to forget it all.... and I am terrified of speaking foreign languages anyway. The system might work for some people but it doesn't for the vast majority I've spoken to.

So, my German class is a class of five people, including me. We were four for a while but have settled at five now. While there is nowhere to hide, it's actually a nice number. Before starting out, I made a resolution not to care so much what everyone thinks about me and just go for it this time round, and in life in general. I spoke more German in our first class than I think I ever have. I've had my usual brain fogs a fair few times, where I panic so much that I just can't access the bits that I do know. Have I told you about that time I had a conversation with a politician using only lyrics from French songs because that's all I could remember? So yes, there have been some horrible, horrible moments in this class for me already but I do think that I am getting better.

I'm not so sure that the teacher's teaching style and my learning style gels particularly well. She seems to expect us to deduce and get a feel of how things work which is a very natural way of learning, I know, and probably the best way to do it. Indeed, it's the kind of thing I've been suggesting should be used for long term language teaching/learning in schools. However, this is an intensive course and I am not going to be able to get a feel of things overnight - I'm quite slow with skill based learning. I'd prefer it if someone actually explains exactly what's going on and why, in this context. But we all learn differently.

And.... I am a quarter of the way through!!!!

So, all in all, I think the next three weeks are going to be tough on me academically and emotionally as I am constantly out of my comfort zone. I also think I am, and will, gain a lot generally from this. I will, hopefully, learn to go for it when speaking a foreign language and that is a transferable skill that I have struggled with for many years now. I'll be pretty pleased when it's all over though ;-)

Not for facebook

Holding on until this week is over

This is just an exceptionally quick post, written in panic, as my German exams approach. I'll start by saying that I'm pretty sure that I will pass... but as you know, I need to do a bit better than that and, to be honest, I'm feeling the pressure.

Tomorrow I'm presenting, in German and in front of my class, and that's something that terrifies me. Add to that the fact that it's examined. Urgh.

And then Friday we have the Final Exam of Final Examness. I managed to scrape an A- (quite literally by 0.2 %) in the last exam so I'm not too hopeful about this one. The only thing that's keeping me slightly positive about it all is the fact that, apparently, my grade was the third highest in the class. Considering I'm mentally rating myself as one of the worst in the class... it seems that I am being too harsh on myself. That said, I still need to get a good tangible mark... Oh grades how I hate thee!

Other than that, I've been attempting to arrange a community project/internship for university (we have to do a full time, four week placement to graduate) and I might have found something. Nothing is confirmed at the moment so I'm really not counting chickens but I am currently filling in my second application form and both people I've spoken to sound quite hopeful. Seriously though, this placement is super exciting so I do hope that I get it...! If not, I'm going to be panic looking, I can tell you that!

Anywho, there will be more posts soon and they will be a lot more interesting and a lot more optimistic than this one! Oh, and I will also reconnect my blog to facebook because apparently it's decided to disconnect itself... but until then

Tschüss!

"Just Popping to Germany"

Last weekend I ignored the many deadlines and exams looming and traveled to Essen to see Faun play one of their extra Luna tour shows. It was a bit of an irresponsible idea but, having missed them at Castlefest because of being stupid and ill, I decided it was worth it. My big exam was today and I didn't feel totally out of my depth so all's well that ends well, right? ;-)

Anyway, back to Essen.

I'm a very happy scrapbooker right now!

Actually, if I'm going to see show that's touring round Germany, I'll try to see it in Essen. It's a lovely little city in many ways. For me, it's great that most people don't speak a lot of English but are patient and really keen to successfully communicate so I get to practice my crappy German without feeling that I'm inconveniencing anyone. I suppose that comes from it not being too much of a tourist hub. It's also comfortable because I've found a nice, affordable hotel about a block away from the theatre.

And now comes the really, really hard bit, attempting to tell you about Faun's concert. Sometimes, well most of the time, it's difficult to find the words to describe a concert. Sure, I've learned to do it academically and, I'm sure if I thought about it, I could tell you a lot of little theatre/literature style analyses but that's not the soul of a performance. 

To cut a very long story short, it was amazing. To be honest, even now, a few days on, it's all still a bit of a blur! There are moments, naturally, that stand out. The memory of the opening, with sudden loud drums making my mother, and most of the audience, jump sky high, still makes me laugh, for example. And I don't think I'll be able to listen to "Walpurgisnacht" without hearing an over enthusiastic audience singing along!

DANKE ESSEN / THANK YOU ESSENVielen Dank wir hatten einen wunderbaren Samstag Abend mit Euch und auch die anschließende...

Posted by FAUN on Sunday, 11 October 2015

Faun are one of my favourite bands; every member is actually quite special, and thoroughly talented, which leads to an all round strength that you don't see in a lot of groups. Rüdiger's drum solo has to stand out though - I mean, it's amazing to hear what can be done by, effectively, 'just' hitting a bit of stretched material. I'm still not quite sure how it was possible! Add to the already wonderful mix a couple of marvelous guest musicians, Efrén López and Maya Fridman, and you have a wonderful musical company.

Something else that I really did like about the show was the way in which it combined theatrics, assisted by the mesmerising dancers Yulya Ayuna Kholeva and  Masha Shushera, with just 'pure' music. There were some songs that were big and all encompassing and then there were other times, like the small set after the interval, when acoustic style music was allowed to shine. This ebb and flow meant that the show was effective in every moment.

To be honest, I could go on in this rambling fashion for quite some time but that's no fun for anyone and doesn't do it justice either so I shall stop.

Something else more than worth mentioning is the signing table moment after the show. It saved me waiting around in the cold to get my scrapbook painting signed - something that is more appreciated than you will ever know. Oh, and it has to be said that the members of the band were even kinder than they are talented, and that's one of the biggest compliments that I could pay.

A quick checking in post about next to nothing!

Dragging myself out of bed last Sunday was simply agonising. Most people classify me as a morning person. Personally, I disagree but I have to admit that I don't struggle with getting up most of the time. However, I guess that phoning my mother late the night before was a bad idea - we don't seem to be able to have a short conversation - and it ended up with me getting under five hours sleep. 

Oops. 

However, it was well worth the pain as I dragged myself around the room, attempting to get dressed without bumping into every piece of furniture. I was off to Utrecht to see someone who I have not seen in way too long, the lovely Annelies.

We had planned on climbing the Dom (Cathedral) tower but it was kinda miserable weather so we decided to leave that for a nicer day and mooch generally. She kindly showed me some of her favourite shops (and she has great taste) and we explored a little. It was great to see her after so long and a truly welcome break from all the studying even if it wasn't sensible to take aforementioned break!

I also managed to go out briefly with the fearsome Leonoor and Dania-duo on Tuesday. We all ate out, despite none of us really being able to afford it, were joined by Fietje and had a thoroughly enjoyable evening!

Other than that, I continued my fight with German. I don't know if I'm winning the fight but it's not taken won yet. As I've said, I love my teacher, I love the syllabus, I love my class - it's the intensive period speed that I cannot manage. That said, I think I did well in my exam today.

I also had an group examined presentation which generally went well. I had a flare up with my heart problem in the middle of the presentation which sucked because you try speaking a language you're quite new to speaking while your heart is doing a jolly good impression of a bee and you're aware that if it doesn't stop in a few you're likely to collapse! Anyway, that's something that's been flaring up more over the last few months so it sounds like someone's going to have another cardiologist appointment soon (urgh!!!) It's also not a big deal so I'm not overly bothered. Just hope the grade hasn't suffered!

I do feel that, in the six months (plus) between this German course and the next it will have time to sink in and I will actually be able to process what I've learned. I get it. I love it. My brain's just saturated!

And now I am spending the evening doing nothing that requires any thought at all. A bit of Wyldwood Radio, perhaps some painting... a lot of sleep!

Two weeks until freedom!

I write this in a state of post exam, mid intensive period lassitude. It's going to be one of those posts where, more so than normal, we are going to be lucky if anything makes sense. I'll be honest with you, I am counting down the days until the end of term and until, firstly, my mother comes out and then until I go back home to England for a few weeks.

So, why the change of tone from my last post about my German A1 classes?

It's not that I  don't love German. I do. It's just that it is a language with many grammatical rules and linguistic quirks. It's not that I don't have a good teacher. I do. It's just that we are going at such a speed, as dictated by the schedule, that I feel that I'm being hit over the head with each new piece of information, unable to absorb any of it. It's simply not how my brain works and, in fact, I wonder if anyone can really learn a language under these conditions in such a way as it is practical and not simply academic.

I feel that someones understanding of a language is something that really does have to develop rather organically. I'm a big supporter of the idea that we best learn languages as children do although I'm also well aware that the mistakes children make when they're learning are decidedly less adorable coming from the mouth of a young adult. So, it seems that, while lessons are desirable for those of use who are no longer in the first few years of life, there should be some element of slower absorption whereby the language becomes natural as opposed to a stinted and formulaic production.

Okay, I'm also really frustrated that I understand such complex things in the language but can hardly string a sentence together for myself. Actually, frustrated does not begin to cover it.

That aside, I have a great little group in the class who are supportive and generally great fun so I am managing to maintain some semblance of sanity. I have the lovely Jacopo putting up with my moaning and reminding me that I actually do like the subject (as well as competing with me by setting up his own blog!) And, I am going to finally meet up with Annelies once again on Sunday which I am so looking forward to.

I'm afraid I've been living and breathing German recently so that's all I have to say. Oh, I do have a blog post in the making regarding the wonderful gig I went to last weekend but I have such little time (and such few free brain cells) that I'm struggling to describe the evening in anything like an eloquent fashion... Soon!

Well look, I'm studying German now.

Well, at last I'm here. The past week has seen my German lessons begin which has been rather a momentous occasion as I literally only applied to places where I could learn German as a complete beginner as, despite some knowledge, I am aware that I am exceptionally weak with regard to the grammar and foundation of the language. I was limited somewhat when my first choice of university took German off the syllabus just as I was applying but anyway, that was a lifetime ago!

My relationship with German has been a funny one over the years. It's a language that I encountered quite by chance and, in my attempts to make media more accessible to my friends and family, who were not happy to just watch something with a summary, I ended up accidentally teaching myself to understand the language, more or less. I'd sit down with a dictionary, really listen to what was being said and attempt to find the English. It was pitiable to start with. Perhaps my favourite story is that of when I could only hear "der Strauß Mutter" when the real thing was "die stoltze Mutter" which gives the sentence a whole new meaning. Anyway, going off on a tangent. After a few years of doing this I suddenly realised that I understood stuff generally and quite consistently. For someone who was told that she was bad at learning languages by teachers this came as quite a shock to me... I started to wonder if I wasn't a bad linguist after all.

I was actually terrified before my first class. This is something that has led me for some time now and really influenced my life path. I don't think my friends understood why I was so nervous but, for me, I felt that the first few classes were going to either going to make me realise that I could really do this or reaffirm those words of my teachers, that I should just give up on languages. To go into a class and wonder if you are going to sink or swim in reality, that's a scary thing. 

And now I've had a couple of classes? I'm loving it.

The teacher is an exceptionally skilled lady. She has a way of engaging everyone in the class. Each person is called upon to speak multiple times a class but there is no pressure, no judgement and, in that sense, she seems to be managing to bring the best out of her students. Already she has shown that she is able to be endlessly patient when people just can't get their tongues (or minds!) around certain words. She's an enabler and, in that sense, she's a teacher in the truest sense of the word. I'm also really lucky to have spent the last couple of classes working with a lovely, good fun group of people. 

Now I can only work hard and hope that I will succeed!

Youtube news!

About four years ago I first started to subtitle Elisabeth. It was about a week before my birthday and, having discovered the magic of this musical I decided I wanted to share it with my friends who were coming round to celebrate my birthday (although, of course, it wasn't finished in time). Thus I decided to use a dictionary to translate my favourite musical. 

As you may well know, I had never intended to upload 'Elisabeth' onto youtube but in early 2010 my computer got a virus and, so that I didn't loose my work completely with the death of the computer, I uploaded them onto youtube. The response was instant and more positive than I could have believed. I decided to continue to upload the videos, as I made them.

Suddenly the project of a fourteen year old became something bigger and had more influence on my life than I could ever have imagined.

In the end, my friends never watched 'Elisabeth' with me, but people from all around the globe have shared it with me. I have had some amazing conversations with people because of Elisabeth, met some amazing people and, most importantly, I met three of my closest friends (Helena, Aleks, and Natascha) as a direct result of the show. 

Not only this, but I realised something... languages weren't that inaccessible to me. Sure, I struggled with French like mad but German, well I was learning that by accident. Because of the translating I became more confident and continued my French studies, picked up Japanese, and will be studying German and Hungarian at university next year.

But why am I writing this now?

Today, almost exactly four years after I subtitled my first video, my youtube channel hit 1000 subscribers.

So this is a thank you blog, really. If you are reading this then it's probably because you've been looking at my subtitles in some form, at some point over the years. Your messages, your views, everything, has encouraged me in so many ways. Yes, every creative member of 'Elisabeth', 'Rebecca', and 'Marie Antoinette' has had an influence too but it's been you, the people who have supported me, who have changed my life and for that I thank you.