Musings on Lisa Cuthbert's 'Paramour'

Genre: ??? Some form of beautiful alternative thing

I seriously don't know how I've manged not to review this CD yet. In fact, I'm sure I've started to write a review twice and never posted it! Anyway, with my recent splurge of Castlefest CD reviewing, I think it's time to have a focus on Paramour (even if I didn't get it this Castlefest!)

Paramour is a concept album centred around the Magdalene Asylums, of Laundries, which were institutions for the reform of whoever were considered to be fallen women. In reality, 'reform' is an optimistic outlook and 'fallen women' spanned a whole bunch of categories... basically anyone who could have been a threat to the 'morality' of society. Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent about a subject I have only read a little about but it's worth researching, if only so that some of the horrors committed in the name of morality are not forgotten.

Right, back to music.

The songs within Paramour are all from the points of view of those affected by the Magdalene Laundries, not just the women themselves but the people connected to them. In that sense it  covers the broader contest of a social institution that will have touched many people's lives in different, if unforgettable, ways.

The lyrics themselves, the words that have been assigned to the people within the album, are really well written. Without falling into an overly narrative voice, Lisa focuses on the human emotions that we can all associate with. 

And it's emotion that she does so well. Her vocals, while musically beautiful, are most striking for the raw connection they make with the content. This is not someone who is just singing a song but someone who is truly communicating an idea and it is quite wonderful. Combined with effective instrument arrangements, the tunes are generally affecting, if all quite different in actual sound.

Choosing a couple of songs to focus on at this point is nigh on impossible. I know that my personal favourite is 'Garten Mother's Lullaby', a moment of gentleness, and I would certainly recommend that you listen to that one! As for the others, I cannot pick a track that stands out as 'better' which is a compliment, I think. 'Madame's Secret Pain' is playing as I write this sentence so, if you're unable to pick which one to listen to, go for that one ;-)

Writing this review, I suddenly remembered why I've scrapped previous review's of this album. The eloquence and beauty of the thing is made clunky by any explanation. So, forget my thoughts on it and go listen for yourself, after all as you can preview the album on bandcamp for free you have nothing to lose and, potentially, a lot to gain! 

If you want to find out more about Lisa Cuthbert you can visit her website or facebook. Paramour can be previewed and purchased on bandcamp and you can read the lyrics in a PDF from her website. 

Help! The essays are coming to get me! (and other stories)

When I have a lot of work to do I'm always really productive. I clean my room, I send letters letters to friends I should have contacted weeks ago, I write useless blog posts. I guess I do a bit of the work too...

At the moment I have four essays weighing on my mind; two (and a bit) are due over the next week. In addition, with my parents visiting and both Sonja and my birthdays on the horizon I'm trying to get everything done early. It's not working out so well but there we go. And that's before I mention the 300 pages of reading for Monday.

That said, I'm kinda enjoying my papers. My history of art paper is looking at a stunning example of a Greek vase which also has some great links to culture and mythology and I'm rather enjoying studying that aspect, even if I'm not so sure on the paper style for this subject. I have chosen to look at one of my favourite films for literary and cultural theory although, as I'm analysing it psychoanalytically, I will probably ruin my childhood in the process. For my academic writing class I'm working on a paper about the reasons for conversion to neo-pagan faiths. Fascinating topic but driving me mad researching the thing ;-)

I've been lucky to be able to slot in social moments too, over the past week or so, with Laura and her flatmates (and ultimately her whole corridor, it seems) throwing a party on Tuesday night. Although I didn't stay for all that long - I'm quite boring at parties! - it was such fun to just mess around with friends. 

My only non-blurry photo from the evening. Sorry Leonoor!

Friday evening, however, really has to stand out as one of the best moments of the past little while. Running straight from class to catch a train into the centre to meet up with Maria and catch some of the final concerts of the Cello Biennale was a real change of pace.

Actually, Maria and I first started chatting, many moons ago, because of our shared love for the cello, although she plays 100x better than I ever did. Indeed, she was telling me about the Cello Biennale, a two week long cello festival, before I had even started playing with the idea of moving here. To go to some of the events was fitting.

Image from www.muziekgebouw.nl 

We managed to catch a concert of several students from the Boston Conservatoire before the main concert. This was a delightful way to precede the main event which was the final of the Nationaal Cello Concours. Not only was it an evening of high quality music, as one might expect, but it was a chance to really compare style of three talented individuals. It was also a good chance to practice Dutch as the prizes were presented and winners announced in the language despite the rest being conducted in English, oddly. I'll never get used to how English is casually used in this country, even among native speakers. Anyway, I digress, happily, the person Maria and I both voted to win did so.

The biennale is now over, and Maria will be having withdrawal symptoms, I'm sure, as she's been living there! We have got one more show related to it to look forward to, however, and that is the Apocalyptica concert which was supposed to open the event but was postponed until November. Looking forward to attacking Maria with some metal ;-)

Right, I better get on with this work. It's staring at me reproachfully as I type so I don't think I can put it off much longer!

Musings on Finvarra's eponymous album

Genre: Folk

If Finvarra were one of the best pleasant surprises of Castlefest then it is perhaps not overly shocking how much I have listened to their CD since then.

This CD is one of those that you can put on in the background quite happily and I've found that a lot of my studying and essay writing has been completed with it playing. It's also something that's gentle enough to have playing when you have guests yet it's really lovely too. I appreciate albums that can be used as background music and enjoyed in their own right.

While the whole album is enjoyable there are a few pieces that stand out for me. My favourite is probably 'Only our Rivers run free' for it's stunning lyrics and a simplicity that allows the emotive aspects to shine. The vocals are emotive while the arrangement is simple, with instruments emphasising certain key passages.

Finvarra's 'Drink Down the Moon/Bonaparte Crossing the Rhine'

The other song that I've been playing way too much off this album is, in fact, the next one on the track listing, 'Drink Down the Moon/Bonaparte Crossing the Rhine'. Starting slow and building throughout the song, and into the tune, there's a real pace to this piece which makes it good fun to listen to. The song is not just sung but, as a story, it's really well told, a compliment that can extend to the vocals on all the tracks.This is also really clear in the final track 'The Blacksmith'.

The other track that stands out, and because I've ended up having a conversation with a friend about it, is 'Dimna Juda'. I believe this is a Macedonian song, although I could be wrong, and about a folk story witch figure, again, I could be wrong. However, what I am sure about is that this is a really beautiful almost spiritual sounding piece. It's very vocal based with a build of harmony throughout and is relaxing and uplifting at the same time.

Finvarra's 'Dimna Juda'

While I may not have chosen the greatest range of tunes to showcase this album, it is a CD with a diverse range of music but maintaining a unity throughout that makes for a great album. As I said, this is one of the CDs I've been listening to most since Castlefest and both mother and I am looking at booking to see Finvarra again soon (she's actually going to fly out for it, hopefully!)

If you want to find out more about Finvarra then you can visit their website and listen to previews of their CD there. Struggling to find how to buy the CD easily. There's information on how to buy here but the Etsy shop is currently closed so if anyone, who's a friend, from England wants it I'd be happy to act as a Dutch intermediate and order it to my address and do a swap when I'm in the country visiting again :-)

This post is not for facebook

When can I go home?

Homesickness is like a tearing pain, intense, unbearable, something that you cannot contain. We were not built as humans to hold this agony. It's the crying in the night, crying on the phone, just crying. Well, not "just crying" at all because crying is not the word for it... lamenting... keening... sobbing... weeping.

Homesickness is a dull ache. It's there but you can't quite touch it. Something is wrong, something is out of balance but it's hard to know what. Then a smell reminds you of home and it grows just enough that you suddenly realise why you've been feeling so out of sorts.

Homesickness is a feeble pulling in the pit of your stomach. You're stretched between two places, more places, people, the world, stretched too thin. You feel tired, you feel drained, you feel sick and you suddenly understand the word.

Homesickness is all those things, and more. For each it is different but we all feel it and yet we hide it away. We sit in our rooms alone and propagate the loneliness because it simply would not do to let people behind the façade, to let them see your weakness, to know that you too are human.

Over the course of my being here, I have felt all of the above and in no particular order. At first, I felt that I was struggling more than most because they were smiling and happy and then I realised that, to them, so was I. I had conversations with people where they said that they felt they were the only person struggling and suddenly, with a shy secret conversation, we learned this was not the case. 

Sometimes we need to allow ourselves weakness. Allow ourselves our humanity. 

Know that, no matter how dark it seems, we are not alone.

These musings on my feelings were written, inspired by conversations I have had over the past few weeks and also by the fact that I really want to visit home, not because I'm unhappy at the moment but rather because I miss the comfort of familiarity and crave that ability to recharge. It's not a cry for help - I'm happy, honest - but rather a hand of support for others who may struggle now, or in the future. If no-one speaks about it then everyone will feel alone.

The good type of busyness!

The last few days have been, in many ways, really beautiful. A whirl of tasks to complete but without the burdening pressure of the previous weeks. I like being busy and I've relished having that balance which keeps me on my toes without causing a struggle, mentally or physically.

Perhaps the greatest success story of the past few days has been Dania and me taking ourselves out early on a Sunday in order to practice riding when the streets were pretty empty and, not only managing not to fall off, but having a good time too. We're not quite ready for traffic but we are getting there slowly but surely and it's fun. Yeah, I didn't think I'd ever say that either!

Dania's selfie skills coming in handy!

We've been slowly building up to this moment over the past few weeks with short rides of a maximum of twenty minutes which usually last for about ten meters. There was something liberating about riding through the morning air, covering ground with minimal effort. Once others started to wake up and join us on the paths it did become harder but that's something to work on.

Talking of liberating, I've been having issues with the tax office deciding to mess me around, basically, and had a terrifying early morning meeting on Tuesday. Laura kindly joined me for that and was my moral support and my Dutch translator (both were exceptionally useful roles and I'd have been lost without her!). Anyway, it appears that has been sorted, or at least has eased for now, so that's been a real weight off my mind. It also meant that both of us got a dark morning walk and saw a little of the other side of the city.

Tourist shot, taken in Leiden, for my mother ;-)

However, my greatest escape of the past few days was yesterday's jaunt to Leiden for my art history class. The museum we visited, Rijksmuseum van Oudheden, is the Dutch antiquity museum and is really worth a visit. It's got some interesting artifacts and an intuitive layout that makes it a very comfortable place to look around. Apparently you can get married there too which would certainly be a conversation piece!

As for Leiden itself, I only got to see a few streets but I was lucky enough to have glorious sunshine. It feels like a pleasant place to spend time with interesting things to explore and some generally attractive architecture and town planning. I didn't spend so much time there, sadly, but do plan to return when I have time... one day I'll have time!

Eating lunch in the sun with this view. Perfect.

Right, enough blog related procrastination! For all the pressure might be off I kinda have to write several papers and do a fair few assignments. Determined to get some painting in this week too. Oh and then I need to go buy food. Yep, better do the adulting first!

Musings on Scrum's 'Killing Time'

I've been a bit of an online fan of Scrum for some time now. Hearing them every now and then on Wyldwood radio, last.fm playlists, and looking them up on youtube, of course. However, being one of those annoying foreign fans, I didn't manage to get my hands on any of their CDs until Castlefest when I bought Killing Time. In my defense, I also requested Pro Libertate for my birthday and converted my mother to the band so I think I'm making up for my slowness ;-)

The title track is a pretty good sign of what is to come. Energetic rocky music with a clear folk influence, it's certainly a good opener. If you manage to stay still once listening and, once you get to know it a bit, if you don't sing along then you're a stronger person than me! Most of the songs are in this vein although with a few notable exceptions.

The Scrum version of Caledona stands out as the first slower piece. The addition of a female voice, and for the final verse, works really well. The highlight of this piece, for me, has got to be the way that the bagpipes enter out of no-where and just add so much. Okay, I might have a thing for bagpipes.

Another cover (if once can call it that), Loch Lomond, is quite traditional in style but still has its own unique sound with some uplifting harmonies that give it strength while allowing it to be a relaxing calm piece. Under the Scotsman's Kilt, however, is given a more rocky sound in the second half. For some reason, this rendition of this song reminds me of my late grandmother who I can picture in the place of one of the girls in the story so I, personally, enjoy this track!

Probably an appropriate 'final song' to focus on is one of the first tracks I heard from Scrum, 'Going Home'. This fast paced piece is another bob and sing along one (maybe I just have a weakness for this?) and is really good fun. The lyrics aren't overly complex but capture the idea of the tune so well.

With a combination of sentimental and lively songs, this album works as a balanced listening experience. The continued themes and genre links some dramatically different pieces together to make a holistic experience which is thoroughly enjoyable, and on many levels.





If you would like to find out more about Scrum then you can visit their website. You can purchase Killing Time direct from the band or, probably easier if you're in the UK, via amazon. 

Apologies for this post being even more disjointed than normal... wrote it late at night and after hours of studying!

First bit of exam strain

The highlight of my day: Autumnal comfort food of stewed
apples and pears with cinnamon toast <3

The last week's been quite a strain what with exams, deadlines, my mother leaving. I made an active decision to do absolutely nothing today. I was going to sleep until noon, not work on my room which has been scattered with books and papers, not get dressed... y'know. Oh, I succeeded in my plans, by the way. Admittedly, I did spend some time doing Cities and Cultures work but, without the pressure, it was almost fun!

I guess the real thing that was hanging over me was my first exam at university in Periods and Genres or, to put it simply, early art history. While I'm normally okay with exams I felt pitifully unprepared. I didn't feel I knew what to expect even though we'd had a practice test. It felt a bit like pot luck. I also felt that I didn't know the content. I'd been revising consistently for several weeks and felt as though I'd scraped the surface, certainly in terms of memorising it all. The exam itself went rather well, as it turns out. I haven't got the grades but I wasn't struck with the blind panic of knowing nothing which is what I had expected. I think that's something that I'm going to have to get used to though. I tend to push myself too far so the fact that this exam only required 50% to pass, and was only 20% of the subject, just didn't register. I guess I need to work on chilling out a little as far as grades and so on go.

I'll be honest with you though, I got up at four a.m. to revise, the morning of that test. I managed to blow up my toaster. The exam seemed rather tame in comparison ;-)

Post exam comfort eating.
Wait, I'm definitely sensing a pattern here... 

One thing that I am really happy about, with regard to last week, is I managed to start playing the whistles a bit again. I've not really played for three months now, not properly at least, and it does show with some of the octave switching and so on but hopefully, now I've lost my shyness about practicing where I can be heard, I'll get back to playing some more!

So, my week ahead looks really rather interesting. Bit of freedom, hopefully meeting with friends, practicing bike riding, taking a trip to a museum in Leiden (my first time out of Amsterdam since moving!), my first Dutch language class...

Oh and a trip to the tax office for which I'll have to leave at 6:30 am. Not so fun!