More music time: Cesair and The Moon and the Nightspirit

Firstly I should probably apologise for the delay once again. This refers to last Saturday so I guess I'm under a week late which is good with my recent track record. Deadlines, exams, and illness have decided to destroy any semblance of organisation in my life, as usual! I did actually take my camera to this show and it was the first time I've attempted to take photos in low light conditions. Not the best results ever, as one might expect for a first attempt, but there are a few photos that might work out okay and I'll upload those onto facebook in the coming days... if they do exist ;-)

Anyway, I haven't said what I'm rambling on about yet, although the title has probably given it away. Saturday saw Thijs, Hester and I make our way to Leiden for a show of Cesair and The Moon and the Nightspirit. It's actually really nice to have Thijs who is basically into exactly the same eclectic mix of music as I am as we get to accompany each other to shows (well, he babysits me really, if we're honest!!) and Hester, who's just getting into the genre, is so so over-excitable. It's actually quite adorable. So we both babysit her ;-)

I have the most stunning friends.

Anyway, we managed to find our way to the venue which is tucked away a bit and probably would be quite unnoticeable unless you know it's there. As always, we were early. Yes, you can probably blame the paranoid about being late British person for that! Anyway, the venue itself was absolutely lovely. The staff members were polite and friendly. The layout of the venue was great with a stepped back area which served as a seating place and also would allow for people to see from the back quite nicely. Couple of annoyingly placed pillars but I guess you can't moan about structural necessity. The sad thing is that the venue faces closure at the moment which would really suck, to put it plainly. There is a petition on the go to save it which you should go and sign here.

So, after lurking at the back, at the top of the stepped area, and taking the obligatory pre-show selfies the lights lowered and my friends went down to the main area for the show. Of course, my delightful friends forgot that I have the whole vision disability, no night vision at all, and was therefore quite as blind as a kitten. I managed to get down the first step... misjudged the rest and somehow landed on my feet, propelling myself across the room and straight into aforementioned friends. That's karma for you! I'm hoping it looked like an elegant jump as opposed to the flailing reality!!

Anyway, a brief comment on the music is in order, I think. As always, I don't need to tell you that Cesair were great. They are a highly skilled set of people playing some wonderful pieces and it makes for a consistently marvelous show. Again, the set was a mixture of older pieces and the newer songs. It's also getting to the stage where Thijs keeps leaning over and going "oooh I like this one" after practically every next-song announcement. I'm not sure if he realised quite how often he was saying that but I guess he does now he's read this!! And it can only be a compliment to the music, of course. Also have to commend the lighting design this time, I think. Not the best for my first attempt at photographing this type of show but certainly atmospheric and fitting, of course, that's what really matters.

Following Cesair was The Moon and the Nightspirit, a group from Hungary who have a perhaps more atmospheric sound. This is the second time I've seen them and, if I'm totally honest, I think this set was a lot stronger than the other one I saw. Despite liking their recorded music, I felt the first show I saw was good but not great. However, this time, I felt they did perform well so I suppose I managed to catch them on an off day last time... or my own mind wasn't in the mood for it, who knows. The audience was really dynamic for their set too, a lot of movement and dance. I know that isn't a comment on the music so much as the atmosphere but the combination of the two matters when it's a live show. In fact, I wonder if that was the difference here compared to the previous show, the audience seemed much more engaged and that has to increase the overall energy. Anyway, I'm rambling on again, as usual!

After the show we attempted to get a photo with the bands which has become rather our habit and is actually really nice for me as a scrapbooker. Seriously, the fact that my friends are into getting photos and taking selfies and whatever makes my life so much easier because heck, I'm too shy to ask so I'd leave without. Also got to test my Dutch skills while Hester and Thijs socialised a bit. The diagnosis: I understand it pretty well now but still can't actually speak a word. Urgh, I need to get classes. Didn't even speak any Hungarian ;-) Mind you, I'm losing the minimal amount I had anyway through lack of practice!

Photo very kindly taken by Kees who also photographed the event.

I'm not quite sure how this developed from a blog post about a gig into a rant about my failings as a linguist but there we go. That's how my mind's working tonight!

Oh, and I have a wonderful weekend to look forward to as some of my music-y friends from the UK are coming over to adventure in Amsterdam. Very excited. 

Now to get healthy before tomorrow!

Space, pancakes, and murder

Having had various people complaining about lack of recent blog post I felt that I simply had no choice but to write one. The silence has not been because of lack of inspiration or lack of stuff going on, quite to the contrary.  There have been posts half finished, or totally finished but for pictures, sat and waiting to be published but I've not published them because of worries about flooding the inboxes of those people who email subscribe... and because I have a bit of an obsession with uploading things in the right order... This post is the only one that is going to be cross posted onto facebook and there'll be a list of 'other posts' at the bottom, complete with links. For now, however, lets have a little overview of the past week, with subheadings because of the sheer length ;-)

Visiting the zoo... and deep space

The only bright side about my science course, so far, seems to be the fact that it includes various trips. I may struggle to understand how one goes about calculating the mass of a black hole but I am quite happy to visit a planetarium and take a trip through space. This was how I spent my Tuesday morning, at Artis Zoo's planetarium. It's not the best planetarium ever, and I believe that it only holds show in Dutch, but there's still something magical about being able to 'see' the universe, even just the night sky, in such clarity.

Serious university students, don't you know?!

To get into the planetarium one has to have a zoo ticket and, as the university had paid for the planetarium trip we found ourselves, at 10am, with a 'free' zoo ticket and no further classes. It seemed only natural to explore a little. Now, I'm a little conflicted about zoos at the best of times... I think that anything that works towards the preservation of species and conservation of our wildlife is a wonderful thing. But all the same, I struggle a little with the sight of animals in such small areas and, if I'm honest, compared to the other zoos I've been to recently, mainly with schools and colleges, the areas did seem a lot smaller. I'd be interested to know if it's a difference in my perception or a difference between countries.

I'd never been to a zoo with dinosaurs before!!!

That said, there were a lot of baby animals which was simply lovely - it shows that the conservation aspect is going well I suppose. Yes, there was a baby zebra. You can see why I was happy! Also, the aquarium was quite impressive and the butterfly house was absolutely fantastic... genuinely glorious. I plan to return simply to take photos in the butterfly house which is a huge expanse of botanical wonders, a little stream with some frogs, and a load of butterflies of all kinds of species flying in groups, alone, eating... it felt like walking through a fairytale. In that regard, I think we were lucky that it was such a gloomy cold morning - we were pretty much alone most of the time.

Pancakes!

Of course, Tuesday was something else special and that is pancake day. Okay, technically it's Shrove

Tuesday but in my family we've observed the eating of pancakes as a tradition rather than a religious thing therefore the day has a rather secular significance but a significance nevertheless. The idea behind the eating of pancakes was to use up all the luxury items before the start of Lent but, as I said, it's become a more secular day although always, for me at least, a family affair.

Every year my parents and I, and my grandparents when they were still around, would celebrate together. We even managed to celebrate the day when we were homeless after the flooding... didn't have a kitchen but still had pancakes!! Each year we'd make pancakes and the batter would always be lumpy (because my dad would get impatient) and the first ones wouldn't be properly cooked through (because my dad would get impatient) and more pancake would end up on the floor than on the plate (because it's not  pancake day unless someone's managed to flip one and get it stuck to the ceiling). My grandma would always tell the story of how everyone got out of school early and how she went to fetch oranges for on the pancakes one day when she was a child. Coming home she saw the school on fire and it was the happiest pancake day. In short, it's a day with a lot of family-time significance and I was kinda dreading it.

My plans were to make and eat alone because I just didn't feel like spending it with my friends. I love them all dearly but it's hard to truly communicate the above when explaining the day. However, having spoken to Leonoor and Laura at the zoo earlier that day I ended up inviting Leonoor round to cook with me... she didn't feel like cooking for herself and I think I knew deep down that the company would be a good thing.

And, we had a really, really good evening!

Only half a pancake got dropped on the floor. I managed to flip successfully four times... and got a carpet burn in the process. Hey, it's a serious sport this thing! I told the story about my grandmother's school which, as the thing my grandmother feared most when she was close to dying was that she'd be forgotten... well, I think it's pretty clear she'll never be forgotten.

We spent the evening, Leonoor and I that is, eating, drinking tea, watching inane but amusing television shows and just chilling. It was a relief from the stress of university and it was a really lovely evening that could so easily have just been me moping.

And a little bit or murder

And then Thursday night saw the rearranged murder mystery party with a rather large group (I think there were eleven of us) set at a film awards party. Considering I'm not the best at circulating at parties at the best of times, I'm more the wallflower type unless I'm firmly part of a group, I don't think I made the best sleuth ever. That said, no-one guessed that Ryan was the one who murdered the poor victim. He had us all trusting him and now we know how good a liar he is... well, I doubt we'll forget that in a hurry ;-)

That, ladies and gents, is the smile of betrayal!

All joking aside, it was a really good fun night which got a mixed group together and, again, it was a welcome distraction from the sheer amount of work I have on at the moment.

On that note, I probably should get back to studying. Yuck!!

Previous posts

These are the posts that I would have intended to post to facebook but that have been sitting in my drafts folder for too long. Other posts may exist but they're more likely to be in rant form.

Midwinter Fair

Christmas tree decorating

The start of semester

Castlefest Winter Party

Starting the semester

The faster life goes the more I have to write about and the less time to do it.

I'm really not complaining. I like busy!

Mother managed to fit the bronze owl I got given for
Christmas in her case weight allowance. Magic woman!

Today I said goodbye to my mother who was out for a few days visiting... she needed my help with her computer stuff for work and I needed English food. It was a win win situation. Anyway, we had a really lovely time doing random rubbish (like buying DVDs of Shakespeare shows) and some more interesting things too, of course. The main development was our booking to go and see the (wonderful) musical Elisabeth when it tours through Essen. I don't think I need to explain to you why this makes me so happy and the fact that I'm taking my mother to see it for mother's day makes it extra special. Before you ask, she  is a fan of the show too ;-)

Before her visit it was the Castlefest Winter Party which I attended with the lovely Thijs and before that was the start of my second semester at university and I will bore you all with a basic overview of which courses I am taking because they, no doubt, will feature highly in the next 14 weeks!

This semester I am taking Big Questions in Science, Logic, Periods and Genres Modern, and Text and Genre.

The first course of the semester was the one I was most afraid of: Logic. It's a mixture between maths, philosophy and common sense with an infamous fail rate. I was dreading doing it. Now I've started, I'm surprised to say, I actually quite like it! I mean, it is going to be a real challenge for me to remember all the things I have to remember for the exams and it's probably going to get harder but I am enjoying it so far. I go into the classes and struggle a little bit with the concepts at the very start and then, after a few minutes I get the hang of it. It's enough of a challenge to be interesting but taught well enough that it's not overly daunting... yet ;-)

I'll talk about the other not so fun course, namely Big Questions in Science. I'm doing it because I need to take a science course and this sounded like the most accessible for a humanities major such as myself. Indeed, it was what it was designed for. I've not studied any sciences since I was 15. We're studying physics at the moment and, quite simply, I do not get it. The teacher is a lovely person and clearly quite intelligent but, sadly, I'm not quite so well versed in the physics world as he is and therefore things he takes for granted confuse me massively. This course and I may have some issues. On the bright side, next lesson's at the planetarium!

Periods and Genres is a continuation from last semester's course, focusing on a latter period, and is art history by any other name. There were some little hiccoughs with the teacher not providing the (very small) things I need to get by with my vision problem but, hopefully, this is getting sorted now. I kinda know I'll like this course because I'm aware of the kind of things included and, as a bonus, there are additional creative elements that mean that I'm going to have to find time to paint and draw. Since starting at university I've hardly touched a pencil and it's not a good thing at all!

And the final course, Text and Genre is shaping up to by my favourite. It's a literature foundation theory course thing and I expected it to be rather dry but, in fact, it's so much fun. We're looking at literature itself (at last!) and working in a really interactive environment chaired by two teachers who are so energetic and obviously have such passion for the subject. I don't think you could ask for more!

So, that's how life is shaping up at the moment. Next week looks to be super busy. Who am I kidding? The next few months look to be super busy! But anyway, exciting times!


This is not for facebook because I've written another post since and don't want to flood out my feed.

Castlefest Winter Party

Saturday evening saw Thijs and me making our way to Hilversum for the first Castlefest Winter party thing. It was strange for something to be 'Castlefest' yet be in a theatre type indoor venue and in the middle of winter. Nevertheless, it was a lovely evening with some wonderful music, as always. This time I didn't take my camera as we weren't sure if it would be allowed so I have no photographs to share, sadly... and none for my scrapbook either which is even worse!! On the bright side, that also meant that I could bring a tiny bag and just have fun dancing (well bobbing) a bit without getting awful back ache. Seriously, Thijs' phone was too big to fit in my bag... it was bliss ;-)

Anyway, I digress!

We arrived part way through Jyoti Verhoeff's set (possibly because it took us so long to work out that Thijs' monster of a phone really wasn't going to fit in my bag). 

Next up was Shireen who I'd encountered at the Midwinter Fair some time ago back but didn't really know before that. I'd really enjoyed their set those few months back and, if anything, they seemed to surpass themselves. Theirs is a strong sound in every sense of the word and I will certainly be buying their EP when I have the opportunity (and spare cash), of course.

After Shireen came Cesair and I feel that I've written about them enough so that they don't really need much explanation! The set was really enjoyable with quite a few newer pieces as well as wonderful older numbers. Atiny Naya remains my firm favourite, however, and luckily it got a play too ;-)

Finally was Scrum with their fun rockyness. It's probably the last time I'm going to see the band with their lead singer Skottie which is a real shame but, I'll be honest, it was such a good show that it was a fitting 'end of an era'. Looking forward to seeing Scrum move forwards :-)

So yes... there is my incredibly short and unimaginative round up. What can I say? I'm tired.




This post is not for facebook because it was written in a sleep deprived trance... I don't even know if it makes sense. 

When a disability becomes truly disabling

There are two things I try to avoid on this blog: Politics (etc) and Rants. It's not that I'm not interested in politics (in which I include social issues and so on), I am. I'm not interested in the attacking arguments that always seem to ensue online even if they would never occur in real life. Oh, and it's not that I don't want to rant, heck I do it all the time to people in reality, but rather that I don't want to preserve a moments irrational annoyance when there are usually many more important things to focus on. That said, sometimes, there are things that you can't stop thinking about and then you simply have to put them out there. This is such an annoyed stream of thought and is therefore not for facebook

Yesterday I had my first day of second semester classes. It was an exciting, and a little scary, day. Some of the classes I'm taking are going to be a bit of a challenge for me, to say the least, this time but I'll say more about that later this week in the long happy stuff post that is coming. However, I have this extra challenge of, before each lesson, I have to explain about my vision problem and ask for the slide shows on my computer, and possibly, but rarely, some other modifications.

Now, this shouldn't be a problem at all. I learned the hard way last semester that, to be taken seriously, I had to refer to it not as a 'problem' but as a 'disability', which it is but I never referred to it as such. That's fine. I'm working in a different language place and words are important sometimes.

Actually, my first two classes went really well with regard to that. My Logic teacher was lovely. My Text and Genre teacher was fine too. A lot easier than last semester... strange what a change of word can do! Then came my final subject which I am not going to name. I actually expected this one to be the easiest. Nope.

This teacher doesn't finish her slides until a few minutes before the lecture. Fine, she can email them...? After some pressing I got an agreement that she would print them, not too graciously given. Another girl came in and ended up asking, I assume, for similar. I wasn't really aware of their conversation until I noticed the teacher was pointing me out and suggesting this girl, who also has some visual problem, and I should be friends. 

My first thought: Oh my goodness! This is great! It's not just me who's being awkward and causing trouble. I'm so pleased.

I sat through the class unable to join in because the teacher wouldn't provide me with the slides for the highly visual subject.

I came home and realised I felt really upset. I couldn't really work out why until I was on the phone to my mother and she worked out exactly what happened. I'd been made to feel like a burden. I'd been told I wasn't going to be provided with what I needed for the whole next semester. And moreover, there had been a real layer of discrimination and ridicule which I hadn't instantly noticed but which really had an effect on me.

If a black person walked into the room would you say "Oh, there's another black person there. Go sit with them. You should be friends"? What about if they're in a wheelchair? I jolly well hope the answer would be no. And the thing is, I think it would be for her too. It's the same thing.

___________

My mother wants me to complain about this and she is probably right. There have been enough little moments where my vision problem has caused more trouble than ever before - there's an institutional problem that's just been reflected in this one woman's seeming cattiness. At the moment, I don't want to. I don't want to be that one who fights to change things any more because I've done it so many times, admittedly for others. If I don't get what I need physically in this class then I'll have to do something, of course. If the teacher says something again, I hope I will have the guts to call her out on it there and then. More than anything, I hope she won't and I won't need to and everything will work out fine. I hope.

I have Science next, my first class. This is the subject where I am likely to need to most assistance and things changed. I'm always nervous about asking for help but today I'm dreading it. Mind you, how I feel right now, I'm also likely to shout at anyone who tries to deny me what I need. Well, not shout but y'know, be so annoyed with yesterday that I'll be highly assertive or cry.

Anywho, mini rant over. I deliberately didn't go too much into what happened because talking about someone without their being aware is just mean so if this seems disproportionate it's because I have deliberately written about how I felt with only minimal necessary context. It is a rant, after all!. Already thinking about not posting it but I'm going to because heck, emotional, badly written, egotistical and snarky as this post may be... it's talking about a part of my life!

__________

Ending on a higher note. I spoke about it with my friends last night (because, although I didn't look it, I was actually upset) and they are the most wonderful, supportive people. I'm so very lucky in so very many ways.

Lovely times with lovely people

Yesterday I planned to go into town because I had errands to run. Sonja planned to go across town because she had to buy a bike. We decided to smush our plans together and drag Dania and Leonoor along to make a day of it.

And then the best thing happened... we woke up to snow! I have so been hoping for snow recently as I seem to keep being in the wrong country when it does snow and therefore keep missing it. Yes, I know, I'm very much a child when it comes to things like this. Annoyingly, the weather did mean that Leonoor decided to stay behind as she wasn't feeling top form and didn't want to be out in the cold and wet. We missed her but she was definitely wise as today I've been feeling absolutely awful but there we go. It was worth it ;-)

A bit worn down as this photo was taken late in the morning.
The view from my window was truly stunning at dawn.

I can't say that I managed to do what I wanted to do in town but had a great day, nevertheless. We messed around in the shops a little and spent a bit too much money for a student budget, or I did anyway. Because we've not got classes together at the moment we're having to put in a bit more effort to socialise so those times when we do manage to meet up are extra special.

Custom made magnum icecreams might not have been
100% appropriate for the weather but they were worth it!

And, as if it wasn't enough to spend the day with that wonderful duo, I finally managed to pin down The Best Friend and skype with her. I've been here for all but six months now and this is the first time I've managed to catch her on skype. Impressive.

It was a combination of madness and of chilledness. Both in our dressing gowns, we managed to call for three hours. Admittedly, that call involved me watching her make dinner but, for the most part, it was just chatting, catching up and messing around. 

The fact we're not in the same physical space will not stop my
photo taking obsession. You're never safe mwahaha.

And then I missed the Aimee. 

Oops.

A brief update

Firstly, I feel that I should apologise for being so silent for the past two weeks. Yes, it's been exactly a fortnight since I wrote a blog post although it's not been for the want of trying. Life has been busy and I've also been ill a fair bit which hasn't been so much fun but has narrowed down the amount of time available! That said there have been multiple occasions where I have sat down, meaning to type, and found myself unable. 

It's not been for want of something to write about as life has been a whirl of social and academic madness. There's been such a speed to things because of the intensive period at university and this means that life has taken on an immediacy that is daunting - indeed I have my final exam in today, a mere two and a half weeks after starting the course - but also beautiful. The moments that have been stolen away from study have been startling in the freedom they have offered. Silly things like cooking for Robbert with Dania to pay him back for teaching us to ride months ago and listening to them both sing as they attempted to give me the confidence to join in have made me, once again appreciate how lucky I am in my friends here. Slightly reckless things like going for a walk in the park late at night with Leonoor, Sonja and Dania have been wonderful moments of freedom from the never ending barreling forwardness of life and, it seems, from the rush of this city. Walking to class each morning, a little earlier than most people, having the path to myself gives me a slowness and a while for reflection where I can take in the colours of the morning sky, the crispness of the dawn, the magnificence of frost as adorns grass areas. It's little moments such as these that have given the past few weeks meaning.

However, I have also really drawn something from the course itself. In my last post, I confessed that I didn't really know what to expect from the pompously titled Global Identity Experience. Now, going into my final exam, I must admit that I'm not really sure what this course hoped to achieve. Nevertheless, it has facilitated some human connection on a profound level. As part of this course we have to undertake a group research project on a minority grouping in the Amsterdam area. My group (full of people I did not know for the most part but who have turned out to be great) decided to focus on Schiphol airport and, after some initial observations, the homeless people living at the airport. it was a great surprise to us to learn that there were any, let alone so many, homeless people living at the airport as it's not someone we naturally expect. Airports are a place you pass through, scrambling to get somewhere and you do not expect or notice those people who are outside of the rush. 

We've spoken to some people living in the airport and, in particular, one interview last Friday touched me on such a deep level. I phoned my mother when I got in and spent a few hours just talking about it and crying. To have so swiftly gained access to a person's inner life, to see the things they have survived through yet be helpless to assist - not that they would want your assistance... or pity - it was hard for me. But also what an honour. I obviously cannot write a lot about this project because I have to respect anonymity and perhaps that is something that has held me back from writing at all as it has had a noticeable impact on my life both in scheduling and emotional terms. It is something that I feel I am gaining from, however, if not as a student then as a human being.

So, this has been a very good way for me to avoid revising and, no doubt, when I get into my exam in exactly one hour I will regret it! I am so looking forward to this exam being over though so I can be ill in peace, tidy my flat, have friends round tomorrow evening, paint all weekend, finish the research project, and greet a February that is full of wonderful social and musical events. Just one exam to go!

This post is not for facebook as it's a bit of a feeling smush and is also really boring, not having pictures and all that jazz.I should probably write a proper facebook posting update soon too. Heh. Does anyone even read this bit??