Socialising, studying, and a new phone number.

You have no idea how hard it was for me to break from recently established routine this week with the bike post thing. Anyway, no worries, we're back to the Sunday Summary for today at least ;-)

I guess, although I posted a status about it on Facebook, I should probably mention the choir audition. Wendy messaged me on Monday evening to say that choir was meeting in about an hour and did I want to join her and go. I had no idea there was any audition element and agreed, spending the next hour in utter terror. When we arrived and found out that there was an audition element Wendy stopped me from running away, something for which I am grateful! Neither of us had prepared a song and I ended up attempting something I hardly knew so I knew there was no chance of me getting in (and I didn't but that's not the point). However, the range exercises went really, really well and the fact that I managed to do this is such a big deal. It's baby steps but I am getting over a phobia that has been around since I was about eleven. A year ago I would never have dreamed I would have managed to actually audition for a choir. So happy.

Tuesday has already been chronicled in the bike riding post so no need to go over that again!!

So, onto Wednesday and the impromptu pot-luck dinner and 'girlie night'. Randomly suggested at some point during the day, and quickly adopted as a great idea, Leonoor, Sonja, Laura, Dania and myself all met up for dinner. I had nothing out of the freezer due to the short notice of the whole thing and therefore hosted which was really fun as I got to lurk at home and eat other people's food!

Laura, me, Ms. Camera Shy after dinner :-)

For those of you who aren't at AUC, this little group is the group that is in basically all my classes so we naturally get to spend a lot of time together. Add to that the fact that they're great people and you can see why the evening was so lovely. It was also nice to spend time outside of class getting to know each other a bit better and, most importantly, to just chill a bit.

As for the rest of the week, well, it's been mainly dominated by essay writing which isn't so much fun but I guess it is what I'm here for! Also been feeling a bit crappy health wise but eh, I'm doing better than normal so can't really complain!

The other bit of 'important' news is that I finally have a working Dutch phone number. I'm, obviously, not posting it here but drop me a facebook message and I'll send it to you happily. For all the people with my English number: I will keep that number and use it when I'm in the UK so don't delete it - just don't expect me to check it when I'm out of the country! I'll also say about the new number in a facebook status in a couple of days but have been 'statusing' more than normal over the past week so will wait a couple of days ;-)

A lot of stuff mushed together in one post

So, I'm getting really good at writing about what I did about a week after I actually did it. So, this post starts off talking about Shakespeare's birthday celebrations, goes on to talk about my singing, and ends up with me talking about painting stuff for the Castlefest scrapbook. Feel free to skip to bits you're interested in ;-)

All photos are my own...more photos of the Shakespeare birthday celebration can be found on my facebook page and if you are in any and want me to send the file, contact me :-)

 

Shakespeare

Anyway, on Saturday I went into Stratford-upon-avon, the birth place of Shakespeare, to lurk during the events that were put on surrounding his birthday. Although I didn't get that many decent photos due to sheer bad luck (even when I was at the front, having been there since 7a.m. people who were part of the parade stood in front of me!) I had a lovely time.

The main part of the celebration took the form of a procession including primary school children, various special guests from the community, and indeed the world, and a giant horse drawn birthday cake.

Within this part of the celebration there were various smaller moments. Flags from countries and supporting organisations were unfurled to fanfare. An actor 'Shakespeare'  presented a quill to the Head Boy of King Edward VI Grammar School (believed to be the school Shakespeare attended). The quill was then taken through the streets and, I believe given to the funerary monument. Balloons were released in Shakespeare's colours.

The parade continued, developing into the colourful 'People's Pageant' which was lead by the 20ft, slightly creepy, puppet of Godiva. Local societies, bands, and dancers all took part.

There were also various activities, attractions, and events on all day.Which I can't possibly go into in full but leads me nicely onto....

 

 

Singing

As part of the celebrations, the Royal Shakespeare Company put on various workshops surrounding performing arts. There were stage combat workshops, voice workshops, and a singing workshop which I forced myself to go to.

Okay, I nearly ran away before it started because when you're waiting in a marquee to face one of your oldest and deepest set fears with a group of strangers that's pretty heavy stuff. Somehow I managed not to run. As the workshop began people introduced themselves and said if they had singing experience. It seemed to me that everyone had been a member of a choir, was a member of a choir, adored singing, and/or performed frequently. When it came to me to say that "Hello, I'm Bethany and I'm in the process of getting over a phobia of singing and you may well find me cowering in the corner later." I did just that. No use pretending otherwise... I was shaking like mad anyway! After that, it seemed that a few more people were less 'professional' and a few more people said that they weren't sure if they had a good voice or that they sang in the shower which was nice. I guess. Okay, I was completely petrified.

Warm ups were filmed by a television camera which was kind of funny and then we moved onto the singing part. Do you know something? I managed it. Did I enjoy it? Not exactly. That said, from time to time I could hear my voice and think... yeah, that actually sounds good.

It was only a couple of days later when I was talking to Aleks on skype that she joked that to earn money for my move to the Netherlands I should become an overnight sensation singing 'Let it go' on youtube. Well, something possessed me to record the first part of the song on my camera despite not really knowing it. It took me about five minutes to be able to press play and listen through the introduction and then when I heard myself sing I actually cried. I'd heard recordings of myself singing before and had found it painful to listen... I sounded awful. This wasn't awful. It was actually, dare I say it, kinda good. My own brain's been warping my own perception for so long, and I've known that, but my goodness... this was strange. I didn't send the file to her and I'm still not comfortable singing in front of anyone but it will happen. If these few months of attempting to overcome my fears have led to this then give me a few years and we'll see what happens.

Scrapbooking

So, other than having moments of self realisation, I've mainly been painting cover pages for this year's Castlefest scrapbook. As I'll be moving country straight after the festival this year, I know I won't have time to scrapbook for quite a while after it. I therefore decided it would be wise to get as much done in advance as possible. In practice, I hope to have the 'cover pages' for each of the bands, the main front page of the scrapbook, and odds and ends like the schedule all filled in beforehand. That leaves photo printing and mounting as the main thing to be done afterwards and I can't do anything about that! I'll at least have made a start and, for all I usually do quite a lot of painting around the photos, that's optional so I should be able to fit it in around whatever schedule I have. The other bonus in getting this all done in advance: I don't have to get scraps of paper signed and then cut them out and stick in... I can get the cover pages signed directly, if I want an autograph from the members of a certain band.

I'm also doing something a bit different with this book, I'm timing every bit of work I do on it. Actually, I didn't time the first page I painted or the finding and buying of papers but other than that. People have quite often asked me to make them a book if we've been to the same event and I've had to say no because it's too time intensive (and expensive but I try not to think about that!). Anyway, so far, I have painted seven cover pages and it's taken me just shy of 21 hours. So, that's why I say no ;-)

Onwards and upwards!

It seems that, after a couple of months of rather painful stagnation, life is moving forwards at an amazing pace.

This morning was my singing lesson, as normal, and it went exceptionally well. Okay, I actually had my singing teacher jumping up and down clapping her hands because she was so pleased with the progress I was making. She also ran out to the car and told my mother. You have no idea how amazed this made me. It's been under six months and I have gone from someone who was afraid to sing in front of someone, unable to get more than a few sounds out in a lesson, to the position I'm in now. I still can't say that I feel that my voice is 'good' or even 'okay' but there are moments when I actually like what I hear. There are moments when I feel more confident. Physically and mentally I can see so much progress and you have no idea how much that means to me. It's nothing short of a miracle!

I also received an email regarding my university interview and 'meet-and-greet'. It's going to be a challenging day, I'd wager. There are group activities, mock classes, discussions and question and answer sessions (as well as some optional social activities which I think it might be best to hang around for). I'm  really excited but a little daunted too. Mind you, I guess that's a healthy state of mind because a little adrenaline helps us to do our best, right? I've been given a choice of dates but, as long as I can arrange the flights, I'm probably going to go in about four weeks time. Goodness, this is way too real for my liking!!

This evening has been an evening of writing to people about meeting up. I'm going to have to rearrange meeting with Aimee because of the interview. I'm meeting the amazing Nené (i.e. one of the best friends a girl could have) a week today and I am so so excited. It's been way too long! Haydon and I have also managed to arrange our meeting up, at last, and it's going to be great to see him too. Considering I used to see him almost every day at college, it's been strange to not see him for ages. And then we have the impending visit from Annelies which is really exciting as I will get to meet my penpal :-D

Gosh, it's going to be a wonderfully busy month or two! I will also return to taking photos as I will take my little DSLR round with me. My compact has rather given up the ghost hence the boring text only posts.

More bitsy bits of life!

This is going to be another bitty blog, I’m afraid. I’m doing a lot of stuff none of which is worth its own post but eh, is anything really?

Singing

First thing is that, after a rather disastrous session last week, singing on Monday was wonderful. It’s really difficult for me because, not only am I trying to learn new techniques, build muscles in and control aspects of my body that usually go ignored, but I’m trying to do all this while fighting against the constant thought that I’m rubbish and should just shut up now. It’s the mental battle that’s the hardest bit and I feel like I’m pushing myself more and more each time. Last week it was too much and I fell apart a bit. This week, another student listened in on my class and I managed to carry on. I guess it’s one day at a time but for a person who refused to sing for years I feel I’ve made so much personal improvement in the three months or so that I’ve been singing. My teacher’s also got me working on “Ich gehör nur mir” (I knew it was a mistake telling her about Elisabeth in my first lesson!) and I managed to hit the last note so something in me is feeling incredibly good right now.

Christmas

After my singing lesson yesterday I migrated to Tesco in a state of complete exhaustion (I had grabbed half an hour of sleep the night before). In my quest for a postal box, I managed to find some lovely tartan wrapping paper and have since been sat wrapping gifts for my friends, and family.

One of the most exciting gifts I’m wrapping is going to a friend of mine from the Netherlands, Annelies. She had the wonderful idea of swapping some local foods over Christmas so we’re each sending a box of goodies across the channel. I love sending things to friends abroad, and receiving things too, as there’s something lovely about the physical connection when the majority of contact is through the interweb! Of course, I love food too so this is ideal ;-)

A small part of the gift parcel for Annelies,
featuring my beautiful wrapping paper.

Actually, I’m in Havanah heaven right now. I enjoy wrapping and preparing parcels, making cards etc. There’s something glorious about being able to give someone something that you have put time and effort into and that looks good. It’s a lovely way of showing your love and friendship for someone. That said, I’m not making bows etc this year. Not enough space and the ribbons all clashed with my (wonderful) wrapping paper!

Cesair

The other happening of a couple of hours ago was me finding this on my facebook feed.

Post by Cesair.

Again, whoops. Never expected this to be found either. Oh well, I’m pleased because if, as Thomas said, it made him, as a member of the band, happy for a little while then that’s wonderful. Cesair are one of my complete favourite bands and they deserve all the praise they get! Now go and listen to them!

Christmas Song of the Day

Lukas Perman and Marjan Shaki singing 100,000 Friedenslichter. 

Lyrics can be found in the video description if you view it on youtube.

Couple Lukas and Marjan are no strangers to working together, having stared alongside each other in various musicals, recorded an album together. I also really like their voices. It's not them that truly makes this video for me, it's the children. Watch it a few times and you'll see the children nudging each other to pay attention, attempting to organise each other, and generally being adorable. Fitting with this song.

For those of you who don't speak German, I can't find a translation, and I'm too lazy to do one myself, but rest assured that it's got some lovely lyrics. Shame you're missing out ;-)

I can no longer restrain myself therefore it is Christmas

Now, most of you who know me well, i.e. the majority of people who actually bother to read this, know that I love Christmas. You also know that I usually get into the Christmas mood around June time - certainly by August - so I think I've done pretty well not mentioning it (much) until the fourteenth of November. If you're one of those people who moans about Christmas talk before December then you can leave now. Go on, off you go.

Right, now that we're left with the 'jolly folk' only I'll get onto the fun bits ;-)

It does really feel like Christmas is just around the corner. I'm sat here surrounded by blank cards, some of which have sketches on them, ready to get painting. I have my Christmas music collection playing without feeling any guilt because I'll be honest... it's been on for a few months now. I'll probably start making mulled wine and gingerbread next week if not a bit sooner. 

Mother just took me down the road in the car to see a nearby house which is covered in lights. I'm not the only one who feels it's time to celebrate! The lights are on the lampposts nearby and some areas have had their 'switch on' already. There's something really special about seeing the night lit up by twiddly little glows of artificial light, especially when you're living in an area where the natural twiddly little glows of light (i.e. stars) are pretty much invisible.

Even my singing lessons are getting festive as I've been ordered to go off and find a Christmas song in the folk genre to work on. Seriously, if anyone knows any Christmas folk songs, preferably with sheet music available somewhere, then please do let me know. I'm happy to sing in any language too so that's not a limiting factor. In fact, I think my teacher will be sad if I come up with something in English!

Anyway, I think I'm going to sign off now as this is really just an excited rant and, of course, a warning to those non-festive folk to beware ;-)

I can't imagine this blog is going to get any less Christmassy any time soon!

Art, music, life

The title pretty much sums up what's going on pretty now. By day I'm being a noisy pest playing various instruments and by night I'm attacking things with paint.

Art

Art wise, I'm mainly working on scrapbooks in various forms right now. I've actually not finished my Castlefest book yet. In my defence it does take a while to design/paint 100 pages of stuff. I have, however, started a new book for general life and that is actually pretty much up to date. I know. A miracle! I'm thinking about posting photos of my scrapbook pages onto tumblr as well as on facebook from now on. We'll see what happens. I know a few people want to see certain pages and it's hard to work out where to share them.

I'm getting a real itch to paint a portrait again. You may well know that the last ill fated attempt didn't work out so well. I guess painting a picture of a couple is always going to be risky and the pair I was painting happened to get a divorce in the short time between the sketch and first bit of paint being put down and the rest of it going on! Whoops. Although I was painting for my own enjoyment I hadn't the heart to go on and finish such a lovey-dovey painting. I'm not sure exactly who or what I want to paint though, and I'm not practised in portrait work either, so it might not happen. We'll see how I feel!

Music

As for music, did I tell you how much I am in love with my new whistle? He quickly gained a gender, which is as far as I tend to go with musical instruments, but Nené seems pretty sure he should have a name too. She suggested Felix and then Máté (the latter having a rude explanation) but I don't think either of those are quite right. Okay, the latter is just wrong! 

Lack of name aside I've been enjoying playing so much. I feel that I'm progressing in my playing very quickly, much quicker than I expected, and after just two weeks I'm a bit overwhelmed by the progress that's been made. I'm not great, not at all, and speed is something I need to work on greatly but things are going so well. 

Of course, the other major musical adventure for me is my singing. I had a lesson yesterday, the first in two weeks due to illness, and it was probably the best lesson I've ever had. I managed to sing a song through in a relaxed way and, do you know what, after doing that I managed to tell my teacher, honestly, that I thought it sounded good. I'm far from being a confident singer but that's such an improvement. In three months I have sung in front of someone for the first time in years, sung in front of an audience (albeit unintentionally), and finally I have managed to have a moment where I can admit that I enjoyed my own voice. I'm far from being a good singer, and far from getting over my phobia, but, step by step, I'm going in the right direction.

'Cello is still being played but we have some issues with tuning pegs going on. I think she may well need to have a quick trip to a luthier because we have some major slipping that I can't seem to fix. She also needs some new strings as I can actually see the A and D strings fraying. I think I've been neglecting her a bit recently, especially when one considers the abuse she suffered at the hands of my father. She got her own back on me by stabbing my foot. After this many years you think I'd remember to wear shoes when playing, wouldn't you?

Life

Things aren't really going to plan and this is not how I saw my gap-year panning out, for various reasons that I don't want to share randomly on the internet. However, I am actually really happy. I'm doing the things I love and I will be continuing to do these things next year, and more. I can't wait for next year's European adventure, even though it looks like I'm going to have to travel alone which wasn't my plan either, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

I did it!!

Only going to be a quick post as I don't really have that much to say but, for those of you who are interested, I thought I should say that today was the day of The Singing Lesson.

So, from the title, you can probably guess that I didn't chicken out last minute. Even better, my ear managed to clear up this morning meaning that for the first time in over a week I could hear through my right ear. Seriously, I didn't need inability to hear myself to make things any worse.

As for the lesson itself, it went well. The teacher seems to think that I'm not all bad which is a good thing, of course, but it's probably going to be some time before I can have any real confidence in myself and believe that. The really positive thing for me was that I could hear myself improving, albeit in a minor fashion, so that says that I've not got a totally negative warped view of my voice, at least.

It's going to take a while to get anywhere, I know, but I feel ready to really stick at it. I also feel that this teacher might just be the right one for me as she seems to be dedicated to enabling her students and that's exactly what I need. I'm determined to get over my fears and learn to sing, to be able to sing along with people, to do the thing I love without fear and embarrassment. I only regret leaving it so long.

And, I'll leave you with the song that I ultimately chose to sing today. You'll remember that I was having a hard job deciding which piece to pick... well, I did it on impulse at five a.m. today!

Because life wouldn't be life without a little chaos

Yesterday, I slept in late because I was ill. Eventually, I got woken by the doorbell and, upon answering it, found two Jehovah's Witnesses. This was bad for two reasons

1. They woke me up
2. I was too ill to actually have a theological discussion. 

Yes, I am one of those strange people who loves talking to religious 'cold callers' because religion, well faith, is such a magical thing. Don't get me started on organised religion, however... or any organisation, for that matter.

Sadly, once I was up, I was up.

Of course, things got 'worse' from there with an email from my singing teacher talking about my first lesson which should be on Monday, tomorrow. Eheh, it's been slid back a week because someone has no voice and no working ears either.

That said, I can't get away from the fact that I am going to have to sing in front of her. As I expected, she has asked me to bring something along to sing either with a CD, accompanied, or unaccompanied. My mother was very logical about this: "Just take a song that you really enjoy singing to when you're singing alone". Shame is, those songs I enjoy singing to tend to be the most technically difficult and I point blank refuse to kill this poor woman's ears with my rendition of "Der Hölle Rache" even if it's darn fun to sing along to! If anyone has any suggestions for what I could sing then please set them forward now!

For those of you who don't know "Der Hölle Rache" - you'll recognise 

it for sure. And no, my rendition is not half as good as this ;-)

Of course, things couldn't stop there because we then found out that my father, who was meant to be staying with friends, was staying in a hotel that night. Of course, we didn't find this out from him and he maintained that he was staying at a friend's. As you can imagine, the mother is furious and I really don't envy him when he gets in today. In fact, I don't envy me either because I'm in the same house! Anyone got a bomb shelter I could borrow?

On the plus side, my replacement Sims 2 disk arrived yesterday so (mwahahaha) I can control their lives even if my own is a little bit out of control!

Too much life, not enough time!

Well, things seem to be progressing at an extraordinary rate right now and it feels like I have simply too much to do in the time I have. That said, when asked, I also don't have any real plans for the next year so I'm not quite sure how that's working out!

First thing to mention is that I have internet once more. I must admit that I grew to like the freedom that lack of internet gave me as I tended to be a bit of a workaholic as the computer doubles as my office more often than not. That also meant, of course, that I was always talking to friends online which isn't a bad thing. However, the reactions of a couple of these people regarding my absence was interesting and, lets just say, I don't think we'll be talking much any more. It's interesting how some people seem to view it as though it's your duty to speak to them every day and if you can't then it's a personal insult. Anyway, the point is that I am back around and am contactable.

Oh, talking of contacting me and me contacting friends, I have now found a post office within walking distance. Of course, it being a bank holiday I can't actually post the (very late) letters that I have to send but they can get on their way pretty soon.

Another recent development is that I have now booked singing lessons (cringe). I mentioned in a previous post that, despite loving singing, I have quite the little phobia of it so this is a really big thing for me. I've not yet taken the first lesson but will do so quite soon. It's exciting and something I really want to do even if it is going to push me quite a lot as a person. That said, I managed to sing a couple of lines on stage for my exam piece so I am definitely making progress already.

Other than that, life is very much based around working with the house refurbishments, music, and art.

My photos finally came through of the festival so I am a very busy person painting and sticking to fill my 100 page scrap-book. Of course, despite being expensive and time consuming, I feel that this hobby is completely worthwhile!

Over 200 photos, several 'bits' collected from the trip, a lot of paint, and
a daunting amount of work to do.... My idea of fun!

I am also painting a lot and crafting a bit too. Hopefully I'll manage to have a stall at a couple of fairs next year and I'm toying with the idea of an Etsy shop. I'm also doing very limited commission work again which I must admit always scares me because if someone buys something that's finished then they like it. If they buy something that's not real yet and then it's not good enough it would be really embarrassing. Can't say that's ever happened but I'd die if it did! 

So, in short, I'm busy as anything yet am doing nothing at all really!

Getting back into music

Music has always been a passion of mine. I grew up with a mixture of country music, Elvis Presley, opera, and Native American chants. In all honesty, the latter was my favourite by far. I adored singing and would sing all over the place. Have you ever heard a six year old performing a rendition of the Flower Duet, solo? I can't imagine it was enjoyable to listen to!

However, things started to change a bit when I went to a certain prestigious girls school in the Midlands. I auditioned for the choir a couple of times and eventually gave in when told that my voice was "flat" and "hideous". With the benefit of hindsight, I was a nine year old with no vocal training who was simply enjoying singing along competing against other little girls who had been classically trained since they could speak. It was a snobby world. However, it was at this time that I decided not to sing in front of anyone again. Eventually I discovered that I was afraid of singing in front of anyone but this didn't develop until a few years on and quite by accident.

This same school did introduce me to a different side of music, however, and for this I am grateful. In our music classes we all tried basically every orchestral instrument, and a fair few beside. It was here that I met the 'cello and felt instantly in love. It wasn't until I moved to secondary school that I took 'cello lessons and I am not ashamed to tell you that I spent a fair bit of my first lesson crying because I was finally playing the instrument. I was given a 'cello for Christmas when I was twelve and so started the tradition...

You see, the problem was, my appetite had been whetted and I wasn't going to settle for 'just' 'cello. The next Christmas I got my bass guitar which I taught myself to play and played with a couple of bands for a while. The Christmas after was my keyboard which I taught myself to grade three standard and then had to put away because there simply wasn't room for her in the house. Flash forward to the present and I am the proud owner of several guitars, a bass guitar, a tin whistle, recorders, a keyboard and a 'cello and am coveting a fair few other instruments that are way out of my price range (Hello nyckleharpa and hurdy-gurdy)

A poor quality webcam photo I took of my bass when
I first got her. My pride hasn't faded!

However, my love for playing music dropped quite sharply with the study of music as a secondary school qualification. I guess I didn't get it. If I was going to listen to a tune then I wanted to think about what it made me feel, what the message was not how many violins were playing and where the accidental was in the fifth bar. I didn't see the point. I also wasn't that competent in comparison to my peers who had been learning since they were much younger than I and the teacher made it clear that he thought that was bad at the subject. Suddenly I was comparatively bad at something that I loved and history repeated itself. I stopped playing 'cello and keyboard publicly and actually rejected a couple of offers to join orchestras.

So, I'm guessing that right now I sound like a bit of a silly person. A bit of rejection and I allow it to affect me to such a degree. Well, yes. I agree to a degree. The thing is, I never stopped doing the things I loved I just didn't let anyone hear me doing it. I stopped taking instrumental lessons (except for 'cello which I carried on until I moved away from my teacher) but I carried on playing. I never even stopped singing.

About six months ago, and two years after my last music lesson, I felt ready to get into music properly again. I felt ready to actually learn again because I had rediscovered what music was for me. Music is beauty. Music is emotion. Theory is the stepping stones to get to the magic. You can play every note perfectly and without the feeling you not played music... you've made some sequential noises.

During my gap year I am going to play music as often as I can and I am also going to take singing lessons. I want to have the technique to back up my enjoyment. I am never going to be the best musician in the world. I am never going to have the best voice in the world. I am going to love every second.

And who knows? My art teacher told me not to take the subject to GCSE level because my technique was so bad yet I won an international UNESCO art competition. Lets see where music will lead me?